3 Ways To Support Colleagues Surviving A Toxic Workplace

In conversations with friends, colleagues and clients in the midst of dealing with a toxic corporate culture, I often ask, "Why are choosing to stay?" And the near-unanimous answer is, "The people." Camaraderie, community and loyalty are built in the face of adversity. Guilt can strike as the clarity sets in that leaving may be the best personal option.

As painful as it can be to begin setting the stage for a change while your people appear to be stuck in an untenable situation, if you want to help them at all—you must prioritize your mental health. You must make the right choice for your life and your wellbeing. In doing so, your leadership and your momentum can inspire them to believe in their own agency to get un-stuck.

While you’re in the process of navigating your transition, you can make a powerful impact on your colleagues, lifting them up alongside you on your journey. Here are three concrete ways to support your people:

1. Contain the pain
While it may feel like allowing your colleagues to vent to you ad nauseum is helpful and supportive, I assure you it’s not. The more time they spend talking about the issues in question, the more they extend the pain and reinforce that stuck, hopeless feeling. If they’re desperate to vent, give them five or ten minutes and then agree that you will use the remainder of your time together to think about productive actions they can take to either deal with their situation or remove themselves from it.

2. Observe and celebrate wins
Toxic workplaces eat away at self-esteem. Even those who are mentally tough and well supported by family and friends do not walk away unscathed. To combat this as an ally, turn on your hyper vigilant wins-meter. Look for things your colleagues are doing well and make sure you tell them in private moments, in front of other colleagues and even better— in earshot to leadership. Be authentic. Be specific. Be generous. Every win is a reminder that there are multiple perspectives to every narrative and you get to choose which one you believe.

3. Be an advocate
Where you see unfair treatment, bias, overlooked ideas, misattributed credit or any other gift of a toxic workplace, say something. Do something. Send unsolicited notes to leadership when you see your colleagues succeed in a tough situation or skillfully navigate a client relationship. Reiterate the true author of an idea or a thought in a meeting. Offer to be a reference for potential new opportunities and make intro’s to your contacts to help ignite momentum in their searches. Your offer to help may be the push someone needs to believe—this is possible.

In showing up for your colleagues, you can be their daily reminder that—1) They’re not failing, rather this is a bad fit and 2) It’s temporary. These simple and effective mindset shifts can release some of the pressure, build resilience and be the energy to fuel a change.