When To Put An Experiment To Bed

For the past few months, I’ve been working on an experiment: a new networking membership that would supplement my corporate workshops and 1:1 coaching.

I fell in love with the idea. The name. The impact it could have on women’s lives.

And I did as I tend to do. I talked about it with my people. I inspired them to believe in its importance. And they cheered me on, as they always do.

Then, without warning, I felt stuck. I chose to file my papers, label my expenses, log my coaching hours—anything to avoid moving forward on my membership.

I judged myself for:

Allowing fear to paralyze me.

Letting my people down.

Being the kind of person who gets stuck.

I skipped my weekly writing time one week because I knew this would be the only post I could write. My writing is my joy, my escape and the place I find my answers. Denying myself that time was a wake up call. I knew I had to put the weapons down.

I gave myself permission to pause and received it like a gift.

Relief and renewed trust in my intuition washed over me.

In quiet, compassionate non-judgment, I looked at the membership with new eyes. It wasn’t fear holding me back.

I was energized by the mission, but not the work—and this is a critical element in a career of my design. This is why I commit to experimenting—to see if the work is energizing and worth pursuing.

This time, in this moment, it wasn’t. It isn’t. And that’s part of the process. The membership is one of hundreds of ways I can fulfill my mission of getting more women into positions of power. My commitment is to the mission, not to the specific tactics that get me there. I know for the work to be top quality and make the broadest possible impact, it must be something that taps into my unique gifts—driven by my curiosity and energy.

I often talk to my clients about something I call The Inspired No. It’s a strategy to say No to a friend, colleague or potential partner so that you authentically acknowledge the exciting work he or she is doing AND offer a “no for now.” That’s the perspective I’m bringing to my membership and everyone I enrolled in moving forward with me on it. I know it’s not right for me, right now. I feel sure of this. And I’m leaving the door wide open to potentially discover a way for it to energize me somewhere down the line.

One humbling lesson I’m learning one more time is that I will always be the kind of person to get stuck. Because I’m a person and it’s in our DNA. But it’s how I respond to my stuckness that reminds me of the choices I continue to make. I am learning in the face of mistakes, building my resilience muscles and using these moments as points of connection with the flawed and beautiful humans I serve.