You're not everyone's cup of tea - and that's okay!

As a former marketer and now as a business owner – one of the mantras that guides me and my career is – the more yourself you are, the more you will attract the right people and repel the wrong people.

It’s not a new idea.

I think I first learned it back in my Marketing 101 class. Yet, it’s a lesson I continue to revisit every time I feel the gut punch of disappointment that later reveals itself to be another level of people pleasing healing unlocked.

Sometimes when I write a vulnerable piece about my imperfections or double down on what are clearly my politics – a handful of people unsubscribe.

And I get a chest pang.

Then – the reminder comes in the form of the beautiful people who take the time to write to me and share how much this story meant to them, or that they needed to hear this today – or even that they appreciate how I’m brave enough to say what I believe out loud.

They’re the right people…for me.

I’m reminded of an interview with actress and all around trailblazer, Tracee Ellis Ross, who was consoled by her friends after a people-pleasing episode, “You’re not everyone’s cup of tea.”

I say this to myself when some collaborations and partnerships flourish and some…just don’t.

I say it to my clients when they get a piece of feedback after an interview about coming off too strong or not strong enough.

And I’m saying it to you now to remind you that you don’t need to click with every colleague, match with every role or connect with every parent at your kids’ school.

If you’re being yourself, you will attract the right people and opportunities for you. And that’s more than enough.

Of course, this is easier said than done in a culture where much of this pleasing and desire to be liked – even loved – lives within our bodies.

Yet, just like another one of my favorite simple counter cultural hobbies – saying no – it’s a little addictive.

So – when the rejection comes, because it will come, you can pat yourself on the back and say, “Oh yeah. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.” And that’s where you will leave it.