Reflections on Racial Tensions and Civil Unrest
Written by Guest Blogger, Belinda Levychin
I sit here at my desk as a Black woman and a mother of two young Black men, unsure of where to begin. As the creator of Tournesol Kids, a non-profit committed to building our children’s resilience with research-based tools, I am turning to our own toolbox, to find my balance right now. So, I start by looking for “Water Power”, which will help me find grounding and some new perspectives, even in the most troubled times. Yet I know, before there can be any movement forward, we must begin to “Listen Deeply”.
As a Black person, it has been so hard to take in the events not just of the past week, but the past several years. Growing up, I was taught that I had to work hard, to play by the rules, and to create change by being on the inside. I was willingly following the social contract and had a measure of success. Often in my life, I was the lone Black person in the room. I pushed any discomfort I may have felt to the side, telling myself this is what it takes to be successful. I fell in love with the advertising world and saw the impact that I could have on how things were communicated. Luckily, I had an opportunity to work at one of the larger multicultural agencies, which led to a lot of opportunities at some very big companies and for a while, that was enough.
Then, I became a mother of two Black sons. Through their eyes, I have realized my own complicity in the so-called social contract that Trevor Noah spoke about so eloquently this past week. It is no longer enough to work hard, to be the best, to just turn the other cheek. The reality is the kind of life I live is still a rarity in the African American community. The reality of a good life — and more importantly, a safe and healthy life — should not be relegated to luck of the draw. As most Black mothers know, it is a scary proposition to raise a Black child and while it is not safe for Black women, it most certainly isn’t safe for Black men. Even Michelle Obama made mention of the fact of this virtual luck of the draw during a 60 Minutes piece when she said that her husband was always at risk, even just going to the gas station. Going outside has always been a gamble when you are Black. I am no longer interested in living in a world where I hope both my boys drew the lucky stick. We must be a part of the change — right now, not later, not when the election is over, or when the pandemic is over — but now.
More than 50 years ago the civil rights activist Fannie Mae Hamer spoke about the idea that when our communities were burned down, no one said anything; but when Black people burn things down, somehow, it’s different. The reality is that the Black community learned destruction from how they were treated by those who were in power. To hear similar words in 2020 from a current civil rights activist, Tamika Mallory, is more than unsettling, and I repeat her words wholeheartedly — enough is enough. It has become clear that we need to start over. And while my “Fire Self” wants to see the system figuratively burn down, we must create a new social contract, this time with all parties in the proverbial room.
Tournesol Kids’ basic philosophy can provide a spark. Tournesol Kids is based on the idea that we all have innate powers: Wood, Fire, Earth, Gold (Metal) and Water. All powers working together can create transformation. One power, “Water Power”, focuses on going within, retreating, listening deeply, and yes — using the power of metaphor to better understand what is really happening. The exercises that make up “Water Power” are used to improve mindfulness and the capacity to accurately self-reflect and grow our social intelligence.
As someone who is “Fire Power”, I have used one “Water Power” exercise recently and I encourage others to try it as well. You see, the exercises we teach at Tournesol Kids are not just for kids, but for everyone. Our methodology is meant to bring wholeness to us all. So, right now, while the world is burning try this exercise called “Listen Deeply”. The “Water Hero” walks the path of peace by listening deeply to the world and sharing deep insights with others. “Listen Deeply” is designed to help us gain perspective and confidence and to shift us into growth-mind thinking – because all of the unrest we are experiencing is coming from a fixed-mind perspective and that is not going to fix anything!
The “Listen Deeply” exercise works well by yourself or with others. Here’s how you start:
Find a small bell or something that can create a fading sound. (If you do not have a bell, just find stillness.)
Find a quiet space and close your eyes.
Take a few cleansing breaths.
Relax your body, from the top to bottom.
Feel the weight of your body as you relax.
Ring your bell to “clear the air” and listen closely to the sounds of the space re-emerge as the bell fades.
Whispering whatever you hear in the space.
Don’t forget to notice the sounds of your breath.
Now notice the sounds of your thoughts and how they can sometime distract us from hearing the world around us.
This exercise is designed to help you understand your relationship with what is going on around you in a deeply personal way. It will help you gain deeper insights into your life and your responsibility to the people you love and your community.
I know that right now I am in listening mode. I know that what I am supposed to hear will be clear if I can be still enough. I hope we are all beginning to listen and then, as Spike Lee says, “Do the Right Thing.” Because enough is enough.
Belinda Levychin is a marketing professional with experience across several industries, including consumer packaged goods, automotive and banking. She is also an adjunct professor at NYU and consults for emerging businesses in the health and wellness arena. She is most interested in the tools, technologies and texts that focus on how individuals can understand themselves from a holistic perspective as the bridge to becoming their whole selves. She has enjoyed building the Tournesol Kids brand from an idea to an entity that can continue to grow and impact kids and their families for years to come. She is also a certified Yoga teacher and encourages the universe to just breathe.
Tournesol Kids was developed by Stephen, Carey and Belinda Levychin to provide a toolbox to help build a child’s resilience. They provide bite sized neuroplasticity based exercises designed to build brain function in a fun and proven manner. Because they offer an assessment free on the Website, kids can understand their own innate super power before they get started, and in that way it’s highly personalized. Here’ more information about how to donate to Tournesol Kids.