So, you had your first interview in a looong time. Now what?

Let’s get the easy, tactical thing out of the way.

Yes, the answer is - you DO need to write a thank you note.

After each interview, write a thoughtful note - ideally within 24 hours of the meeting. In my opinion, it does not need to be a handwritten note. I prefer an email (so put that pretty stationary back in your drawer for when you write your best friend an, "I miss you." love letter).

The note should contain a nugget from the conversation so your interviewer knows you were paying attention! Also, if you interviewed with more than one person...send them each unique notes. Interviewers do compare!

Next, comes the most important tool in your interview arsenal. I call it, The Compassionate Debrief and I tell my clients to do it after each interview.

First - focus on your wins.

The obvious one being – I had my first interview since 2018 and I didn’t die.

But really, what went well? Where did you shine? How dynamic and spunky was your elevator pitch delivery (after practicing it a thousand times with your dog - thanks, Taco!)? How great does that top look on Zoom? Excellent choice!

Then, without shame and with all the grace you can offer yourself, list the areas you’d like to improve for your next interview. And I promise there will be a next one.

How can you smooth out that story about showing leadership in a crisis with a more succinct and clear approach?

How can you put a more positive spin on leaving a role where you’re still experiencing all the feelings?

This judgment-free zone of The Compassionate Debrief acknowledges –

Interviews are hard.

You may not be good at them right away.

You can learn how to get better at them over time.

The way you do that is with reflection and intentional fine-tuning and practice.

If you don’t get the job, ask for feedback. Even though I’ve found feedback comes only 10-15% of the time, sometimes it can be an absolutely critical piece of wisdom that makes all the difference in your next round of interviews.

Also know that finding a job is about fit. Sometimes when you don’t get the job, you may have dodged a bullet because of something in their culture or leadership approach that was not going to be a fit with your style.

Believe that there is not only one great opportunity out there for you, but many. With a combination of belief, knowledge that you’re worthy of that next great role, patience, practice and prep—in time—you will get there too.

There’s a challenge I see coming up with many of the women in my groups and 1:1 coaching and the related scenarios look like this...

They get overlooked for promotions.

They get layered under new levels of leadership. (Which feels like and often is a demotion.)

They go for the big job and the less qualified candidates (often white guys) get the roles.

You’re not going to get gaslit here. A large part of this dynamic comes from the biases that still live within our organizational cultures.

Yet there is something we can do individually to work against these biases.

We can lift our heads up from doing our good work…and talk about our good work. We can talk about how we are uniquely qualified to do that work.

Some call it authentic self-promotion, some fear it’s bragging. I say…it’s simple:

Share your wins.

Listing your wins for yourself will remind you of your competence, your unique style and the pride you have in the impact you’re making.

Telling others about your wins will communicate what kind of work and partners and collaborations they should be sending your way.

It will help them understand when you’re ready for the next step or level.

Part of the work of breaking through bias is normalizing women’s words about their wins, their strengths…and yes, even all that they want.

Feel free to write back to this email and share one of your recent wins. If you have to practice by telling just one person – I’m grateful for it to be me.

L’Shanah Tovah to those celebrating today. To a sweet new year!

With the move toward returning to the office in some fashion and with kids back in school this month, I’ve been leaning into more in-person meetings and gatherings of all kinds.

It feels like people are coming out of their cocoons and saying…let’s learn how to live in community again. A turn of events that makes this extrovert filled with butterflies and possibilities.

I’m saying yes to the invites and setting up coffees and lunches.

Yet, here’s what I’m noticing.

I’m rusty AF.

And I connect with people for a living!

On a good day I’m at least 20% more awkward than I was pre-pandemic.

When I walk away from an interaction at school drop off or when running into people, I’m often rolling some of the things I said around in my head thinking, “48 years into this ride and we couldn’t come up with something more empathetic? Thought-provoking? Award-winningly hilarious?”

But, the moment has passed and the rumination builds momentum and heft in my stomach with every minute that passes.

I’ve been working to disrupt the spinning with a simple self compassion practice.

I talk to the awkward part of me and I tell her…

That person has already forgotten this moment that’s turning you inside out.

You are working to rebuild this muscle and the road to get there will be messy.

You are coming from a place of truth.

Many people are drawn to your awkward side.

Sometimes it takes a few times to break through and that’s ok. I do find a place of calm in this approach.

It helps me walk into the next gathering with realistic expectations (I probably will say the “wrong thing” at some point) and a way to move through it if/when I do (by being nice to that inner awkward girl).

I hope you can give yourself some grace as you begin reconnecting with your communities. Whether it’s using my practice or creating your own – go easy, enjoy your people. Know if they are the right people, they will see you and love you as you are.

We’re well into September energy and in NYC, the last place in the country for kids to go back to school, we’re feeling all the things.

At our house, the kids are both going to new schools (Middle and High School!) and my husband is starting a new job…so this fall is all about ch-ch-ch-changes.

While I’m someone who’s fueled by change and the buzzy excited energy it brings me – I know that’s not the case for many.

Even with its spicy notes of pumpkin, all the newness and uncertainty that come with September can be challenging.

Here are a few ways I work with clients to move through this time of transition:

#1: Call in the team!
If you know you’re someone whose anxiety kicks up a notch during this time of year or during change in general, get ahead of it. Line up time with your most supportive friends (not the ones who amp up that nervous energy – and you know who’s who). Also, if you have a therapist you’ve worked with in the past, schedule a tune-up or proactive visit. Make sure your people are in place to support you through the potentially bumpy road ahead.

#2: Embrace the mess.
Normalize the low parts and the imperfections going into the change. You know there’s no perfect job or school or new home. Acknowledge there will be times when you’ll be exhausted by getting to know all the hundreds of people at the new gig or that your kid may have a few rough “friend” rumbles. Or even that you may end up cleaning three years of someone else’s oven grease on move-in day. The shitty parts of an otherwise exciting change are real, so seeing that going in makes them easier to process as they happen.

#3: Remember Your Hero's Journey
You’ve been through a few things. So, by now you know it’s possible. Visualize some of those times you made it through a messy, uncertain situation. Hypothetically speaking, how about navigating 2.5 years of a pandemic? What are some of the qualities you have that helped you through this or other unsettling times? How can you put them to work right now?

On our end, I’ve created more flexible time in my calendar to just “be around” if my people need me. I may not need to do anything. And if there is something to do or talk about, I’ll be there during the transition. Teen whisperer, Lisa Damour, calls this "House Plant Parenting" and I’m here for it.

I hope all of your September transitions are going as you hoped and/or you’re getting the support you need for the bumps.

As always, consider me a resource – even if it’s just to say, “My kid said his first day was ‘meh’ and I’m taking that as a win!”

As part of my Summer of Rest (that has become a lot busier in August), I’ve been feeding my podcast addiction passion. Here’s a slightly random, but accurate snapshot of shows and topics that are peaking my interest these days.

Women and Leadership

Chief: The New Rules of Business

Multitasking Is a Lie. Have Women Been Duped Into Doing It All?

The Chief podcast is both powerful and hopeful when it comes to supporting women committed to growing in their leadership skills and presence. In this episode, Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space outlines how the traditional roles we play out in our domestic partnerships can hold us back in our careers.


Next Steps on Abortion Access

Death, Sex and Money with Anna Sayle
This Isn’t Just About Abortion: What the End of Roe Means to You
Anna Sayle knows how to tell the stories we’re not hearing and bring them to the people who MUST hear them…and listen. This episode features Mississippi Abortion Rights Activist, Laurie Bertram Roberts, who is doing the hard work on the ground. Laurie has a message for all of us white women in the liberal northern states who were outraged after the Dobbs decision. In essence, don’t forget about us now that you’re moving on with your lives.


For Fun and Joy

Sam Sander’s new podcast - Into It
After mourning Sam’s departure from my once favorite podcast, It’s Been a Minute, I would follow Sam anywhere. I recommend binging the first few episodes. They’re just getting their rhythm, but it is fun and I feel like I’m reunited with a good friend. Missed you, Sam!


Culture and Progress

Ezra Klein Show
Gender is Complicated For All of Us: Let’s Talk About It.
I continue to be curious about the unraveling and reconfiguring of gender norms and expression. We’ve come so very far in our unlearning of our binary understanding of gender and as more of us embrace an openness and flexibility about how we see it, we also see the simultaneous backlash. The more we can learn from the teachers and activists leading the way in this change, the more we can unpack our own patriarchal gender norms and stand as allies with the most vulnerable communities facing the backlash. This interview with Professor Kathryn Bond Stockton, author of Gender(s), shares the gravity and complexity of this topic while also bringing out the playful nature of self expression that is so beautifully human.


Parenting Teens

Aspen Institute Panel (video)
The Kids Are Not Alright: But We Can Help
This is a video, but I listened to it on a walk focusing on the audio. With two teenagers in my house and with stories bringing the adolescent mental health crisis so close to home–I’ve been following some trusted experts on this topic who can provide guidance for parenting my own teens and resources I can offer to friends, colleagues and clients. Lisa Damour is one of those experts so when she shared this panel she participated in held at the Aspen Institute, I shut everything down and paid attention.

I hope you all are continuing to rest, relax, grow and learn in this natural reset of summer. Speaking of recharge time, next week I’ll be in the Outer Banks on the beach with my family so you won’t hear from me.

Share your beach reads and fav podcast listens. I can’t wait to dive in!

We often go into a job search preparing for the worst.

It’s going to take at least six months.

It will be slooooowwww.

There will be a multitude of meetings.

It will include a song and dance, dog and pony show, presentation extravaganza that will take days to prepare.

It will be painful.

There will be oh so much waiting.

Yes, sometimes it is like that.

And sometimes – it’s not.

This happened to a client of mine recently who was in a long drawn out process with one company. It was eeking forward at the slowest pace – the kind of search she was used to navigating.

Then all of sudden, out of nowhere, an opportunity came to her. She applied, met multiple people for a number of energizing meetings and within the span of a week, she had an offer. A really good offer.

After experiencing the “watching paint dry” job searches so many times, she was dubious about how this all went down.

My counsel was as follows…

First – sometimes when you know, you know. A nimble organization can meet the right person for the role and make it a priority to get all the meetings in quickly so they can move swiftly.

Second - just because they’re moving quickly doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make sure you get your questions answered. Ask for additional meetings including one with someone outside of the hiring chain, someone who will be a colleague at your level. This is your time to interview them, to make sure the organization meets your top priorities.

Third - negotiate! If they’re moving quickly, they want you. They really, really want you. Even if the offer is good, ask for more–it could be money, flexibility, something that fits in with your criteria for an ideal role.

Reminder, organizations often show who they are and their styles by how they recruit employees. If you’re looking for a nimble and decisive organization, then a speedy process could mean you should run toward that role and that culture you’re seeking.

If you're looking for support while you navigate your job search hit reply and we'll find some time to chat, or book your complimentary Clarity Call at rachelbgarrett.com/clarity.

Here’s to summer offers, new exciting opportunities and the optimism of momentum!

If you’re in an active job search, you may be trying to find that one perfect path or that one perfect role to jump into. And you're all up in your head about making this super important decision. It's a life-changing decision.

I see you and I know you’re frustrated. Let's release that pressure valve just a wee bit.

Let me be clear: There is no one perfect path for you. There is not one right next step.

You have a lot of options. There are many paths, many roles that could work. And it will take getting into action around these options to figure out which will be the best fit.

In my own career transition, I tried three different paths before I landed on coaching. All at once, I experimented with digital marketing consulting (the safe path), a baby registry startup called Rock That Registry (I even had the coolest logo) and Coaching (which felt scary, but also like a calling).

I started heading down all of these paths at one time and within months I realized I had the most momentum and drive on the coaching path. I let the other two fade away and doubled down on my coach training and business building.

As a coach, I later read the book Designing Your Life, by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, which offers up an approach that marries design thinking and career pathing. I was stunned to see this strategy of choosing three paths was one they recommend as part of their process.

Well, hey, I just did that instinctively which reinforced for me that I'm pretty good at all this career transition stuff. Another clue that helped me decide to work with women making similar transitions.

Many of my clients feel guilty about leaving a career path they've been on for quite awhile. So, I encourage them to choose the safe path, a similar role to what they have now as one of their three paths. Their bodies always let them know if they want to continue down this path.

On my safe path, I would look down at the digital marketing proposals I was writing and say...I don't want to do this work! I felt dread in my bones before sharing it with the client. I listened to my body on this one.

If we work together, I will help you identify your three paths that may change over time.

One may fade and a new one may enter as you continue to have conversations and explore.

I love this approach because it feels broad enough that you can experiment and play in your search and structured enough that you don’t feel untethered and overwhelmed by too many options.

Feel free to write back to let me know what you’re thinking about for your three paths and if you’d like to get some support in expanding your mind to go beyond the safe things you’ve always done - you can also book a complimentary Clarity Call to discuss at rachelbgarrett.com/clarity.

As part of my downtime during the Summer of Rest, I do have some adulting maintenance on my list of goals. Catching up on 2.5 years of doctor’s appointments, opening and shredding the non-priority envelopes piling up on the kitchen counter and my personal favorite–recalibrating my financial goals for the rest of 2022.

For those of you who have been following along for a while now, you may remember I’m a bit of a financial tracking nerd. I’ve been using the tool, You Need A Budget (YNAB) for about 6 years in my personal finances (and I first wrote about in 2017!). This year I’ve also implemented a Profit First approach in my business.

All to say, I’m deeply grounded in my numbers. This helps me:

1. Spend within my means.

2. Set aside money for taxes and annual expenses throughout the year so I’m not in a money crunch when these bills come due.

3. Understand my financial needs and responsibilities so I know if and when I can pivot.

4. Intentionally save 2% of my earnings for giving to causes that are important to me.

5. Move through my fears around money–holding onto it, growing it, trusting myself when it comes to managing it.

So, this past weekend, I stepped into some honesty about my year to date and got clear on what I need to do in order to meet my goals.

And the truth was the relief I needed. I know exactly what I need to do with my current offerings to get where I want to be.

My internalized hustle culture says…but you can do more. It can be bigger. You can create something new.

Yet right now, my rest and this different pace is more important to me than more and bigger and new. This is the 2022 pivot.

As part of my financial puzzle, I’ve allocated my giving funds to a monthly donation for the National Network of Abortion Funds. The pride of knowing a percentage of my earnings will always go to the causes I fight for within my work–makes me feel like the business itself is a vehicle aligned with my values on multiple fronts.

This is part of the work I help clients master. We answer the questions…

What does a life of meaning look like to you?

What kind of work does that include?

What are the true numbers that could facilitate that life?

Now, let’s talk about how to get you there!

All of our work together is grounded in the reality of your life and your set of variables. Yet, we need to say the hard things–the truth about where you are right now so we can get you on the road to being where you want to be.

I’d love to help you get clear on your vision for a meaningful life and what you’ll need to make your big shift happen.