This week has been hard.
For me. For you. For a world divided, watching humans die and suffer without a quick answer for a way to make it stop.
As a Jew, a mom, and still the child who lost her parents tragically and without warning – hearing the horrific details of this massacre of innocent lives – I’ve been frozen and numb and without words since Saturday.
Yet, also as a Progressive Reform Jew, I’m part of a community that has a deep, spiritual connection to Israel and also fights for peace and empathy and justice for Jews and Palestinian people in this holy land and beyond.
In my opinion, the complexities of this moment make it exactly the wrong debate to have on social media. The nuance, the dualities I’m holding can not fit, nor do they belong on a meme. And so I won’t be engaging in that conversation on the socials.
But here in this community we’ve built, where I can take some time and space to say the hard things, even when we don’t agree on every point – it feels important to share where I’m at.
I don’t have any answers and I’m not an expert on this topic so I will never claim to be.
I do have the heaviest heart and grieve the losses with you.
I do wish I could hug those babies who lost their parents and say – you don’t deserve this. This is not your fault. You didn’t “have it coming.”
For those of you who feel more scared to walk through your lives as a Jew than you did last Friday, sadly, I share that fear with you.
And for those of you who are saying – I’m going to continue to live my life and not show them any fear – I want to continue to learn from you.
Thank you to the beautiful people in my life who are not Jewish and reached out to me this week to check in. I appreciated those notes and love and prayers more than you know.
I will continue to support you in your career journeys in this newsletter next week and do my own work and take my own action in this crisis more privately.
I encourage you to take your own time to share your words and your feelings. You are taking time to process and to do your best – in your own way.
Have you ever wondered how to maintain a career that truly energizes you? I got you.
My one-hour virtual workshop in collaboration with Park Slope Parents is now available for purchase for only $25!
The “Growing A Meaningful Career Workshop” is packed with actionable insights and strategies that will empower you to take control of your career journey. From nurturing essential relationships to making calculated risks, enhancing your personal brand, and much more, this workshop covers it all.
In this workshop, we cover…
Nurturing Key Relationships: Discover the power of cultivating meaningful professional connections that can propel your career forward.
Calculated Risks: Learn how to embrace strategic risk-taking to open up new opportunities and expand your horizons.
Optimizing Your Personal Brand: Find out how to present yourself in a way that resonates with your values and goals, building a compelling personal brand.
Taking the Call: Understand why taking that interview call at least once a year, even when you're not actively seeking a change, can be a game-changer for your career.
It's essential to take charge of your career journey, not just during a transition, but consistently and intentionally.
Growing a Meaningful Career means ongoing self-assessment, strategizing, and taking steps to ensure your career remains fulfilling and aligned with your aspirations.
Waiting. It’s the absolute worst part.
You’ve been through multiple rounds of interviews, received great feedback, they’ve checked your references. You’ve followed up with the powers that be. And yet, there you are. You’re still waiting.
There are MANY reasons these situations happen. Most of them have nothing to do with you.
So, what do you do?
Focus on what you can control.
Hiring freezes, reorganizations, re-prioritizations…and even vacations happen. These things are all out of your control. So focusing your energy on any of these things – or your paranoia of what could be happening is not productive.
What is within your control is tending to other existing processes that are in play AND drumming up new opportunities with outreach to your network.
New conversations. Leads. Possibilities.
So, if this one goes away – which I hope it doesn’t (but it might) – you have the feeling that you still have momentum elsewhere. You’re not starting from scratch.
When you put all of your effort into one process and it goes away…it can feel devastating. Even paralyzing. Please, please don’t do this. It will set back your timeline and it will be tough to recover.
When you move forward with the mindset of - detached optimism - when you have multiple possibilities moving at once, you stay nimble and resilient if rejection comes your way.
I wish I could say you could move through this process without rejection. Sadly, that’s rare. But, if you expect it’s coming and you prepare for it – each hit can be felt and absorbed without taking you out of the game.
Many of you may remember that since January of 2023, I’ve been offering Monthly Office Hours for my current and former clients.
We share both the wins in their respective job searches and we’re 100% real about all the hard parts. Full transparency, there are many.
But they absolutely feel less hard when 1) you have a plan and 2) you’re part of a community.
That’s what we’ve built in Office Hours – and btw – we laugh a lot. At ourselves. And at the shit that only makes sense to other humans humaning along the often unhuman process that is getting a job.
In July, we experimented with opening up Office Hours to people who have not yet worked with me – and it was a rowdy and supportive crew! There were thoughtful questions, strangers sharing their expertise and wisdom – and reminders that you don’t need to be alone in this.
I like to call that – a success.
So, we’re doing it again next Monday, October 2 @ 12 PM ET.
If you haven’t worked with me in the past (and don’t get the Office Hours invites), click the button below to sign up!
Bring your questions, your job searching wisdom and your willingness to help others through the hard.
Looking forward to seeing you there!
Early on in my business, in addition to my 1:1 work, I facilitated 2-hour workshops on Executive Presence to rooms filled with aspiring women leaders.
At the time, I felt my own impostor syndrome sneaking up – standing in front of 30 women, telling them to focus on eye contact, watch their filler words and reign in their body language – when I was struggling with the very same “challenges.”
While I absolutely believed in my mission to advance women into positions of power and I knew this was part of the work to get them to “fit into these roles” and “play the part” there was always something about the work that felt uncomfortable for me.
Reading this now – the problems seem so obvious, but full transparency, 8 years ago – it wasn’t clear. I thought there was something a little bit wrong with me for struggling to conform to the “Executive Presence” standards set for me. Just as I was telling these women, there was something a little bit wrong with them.
That they had to change themselves to fit the culture.
Be something that wasn’t who they were.
What I see now is that this discomfort was leading me somewhere important. A place I needed to grow.
A place where I was enough. I was worthy of being who I am and sharing my message in my way.
And the patriarchal systems that don’t support me, accept me, require that I stay small – must change.
What does it look like to break the rules of Executive Presence as we’ve been taught so we can show up with Authentic Presence?
Do we truly need to pretend to be white men to lead, or can we use our gifts without bending who we are, inspiring others to do the same?
Showing up authentically requires walking directly into the fire of fear, realizing–not everyone is going to like it and you don’t need to be for everyone.
I can be here for the people who are here for me. And it’s enough.
School is finally back in session for us New Yorkers who are the very last to return in the country.
For me and many others I’m connecting with, there’s a familiar wave of grief.
A chapter closing on a nourishing slower pace, travel and adventures, an abundance of family time and a dip in stress levels.
A glimmer of possibility for how life all year round could be different.
There are clues for you, your career and your life in those possibilities. Now is your moment to mine them and be intentional about small tweaks you can make to access that summer vibe.
So, if you’re someone who is feeling that sadness about the end of summer, sit down and brainstorm a list of everything you loved and even liked about how it all went.
And then choose two of those things that you’re able to intentionally build into your career this fall and ongoing.
Did you schedule more in-person coffee dates and lunches with your people?
Did you naturally have more buffer between meetings because colleagues were on vacation?
Did you have more time for deep thinking projects?
There’s much we can learn from the change of seasons and just like a career transition–the change doesn’t have to mean that we’re starting fresh. We can bring a few gems along with us, to sturdy us and keep us whole amidst the shift.
After one of my favorite summers of all time–I’m feeling both loss and gratitude for what I’m leaving behind.
Yet, I’m stepping into fall with the muscle memory of freedom and play and release of control that made this summer unique.
The work to come is intentionally building these elements into my daily life when the culture around me is bringing their Big Fall Energy.
More details on results will follow, but for now I’m off to an outdoor coffee date with a colleague in the last days of my sandals and flowy skirts.
As you may remember, in recent months, I’ve been on a journey to heal my relationship with food and my body. I’m learning to practice a more intuitive and trust-based approach to food and releasing all of the millions of rules I’ve learned my entire life from different flavors of diet and wellness culture.
It’s liberating: I’m grateful for all of those additional hours back in my day, my energy and the creativity that shows up when you’re not starving.
And it’s also terrifying: it means I’m giving up some of the power and privilege that comes along with having a “thin” body in our culture.
If you haven’t thought about how thinness is connected to power, keep reading…and of course listening to all of the experts whose labor and brilliance in this area of education I continue to lean on for support.
With that TED Talk completed, I’m thrilled to share 1) A roundup of podcast episodes with Black experts in the field who are leading the way in this work and don’t have their own podcasts. 2) Some of my favorite podcasts supporting all of us Anti-Dieters from afar.
My favorite interviews with brilliant Black women leading this movement:
Sonya Renee Taylor, author of The Body Is Not An Apology on We Can Do Hard Things
Sabrina Strings, Sociologist and author of Fearing The Black Body on The Nod
Jessica Wilson MS, RD and author of It’s Always Been Ours on Full Plate
Chrissy King, author of The Body Liberation Project on The Balanced Black Girl
My favorite anti-diet podcasts where I learned about most of the above experts:
Aubrey Gordon and Michael Hobbes are the OG’s of Anti-Diet Podcasting. They dispel countless myths and lies of Diet and Wellness Culture that we often simply accept as fact. Their BMI and “Obesity” Epidemic episodes are wonderful primers for those just getting started in this deprogramming.
The incredibly compassionate Anti-Diet Nutritionist, Abbie Attwood creates space for Anti-Diet practitioners to share their expertise AND also vulnerably tell their stories of how disordered eating and relationships with exercise have impacted their lives. She’s both present and quirky so conversations often go to fun and unexpected places and I always feel like I walk away with some new angle to think about this work.
Sadly this podcast recently ended, but there are many fantastic episodes to check out from their archives. BFF’s and registered dietitian nutritionists Wendy Lopez and Jessica Jones talk to different health & nutrition experts living more balanced lives–from an inclusive - Health At Every Size (HAES) lens
Virginia Sole Smith, author of the recent book - Fat Talk and the Burnt Toast substack newsletter creates this thoughtful and expansive podcast where she interviews activists, nutritionists, MD’s, therapists, Fat Liberation artists, researchers–the list goes on. I’ve learned about so many of the experts I’m following from this podcast and her spotlight on parenting truly hits home for this mom wanting to do all the things differently with my kids around food and body.
Honorable Mentions…
In an effort to force myself to edit, I haven’t included summaries of all of the podcasts that are helping me on this journey and yet I couldn’t help myself from including these others that are also excellent, but either have ended or don’t come out as regularly.
Can I Have Another Snack With Laura Thomas, Anti-diet Nutritionist
Eat the Rules with Summer Innanen, Body Image Coach and author of Body Image Remix.
This work takes awhile to sink in. It’s disruptive. It flies in the face of most of what we will hear from our people. So, I encourage you to find community, support and all the podcasts. If you are listening to any that I’ve missed, please send along.
I appreciate you. As you are.
In the past few years I’ve learned a thing or two about my energy and how it relates to my work.
I’m close to equal parts introvert and extrovert so I love my alone time for deep thinking, writing, rest and of course baby + dog videos.
AND – I must, must build in time to connect with friends and colleagues during the week – outside of my client sessions. Fun and learning with other humans is my favorite sport.
This is the dance I weave through my calendar weekly and when I’m on my game, feeling flow and momentum in my work – I know I’ve hit the magic formula.
And then there are the times when I feel depleted, my throat is sore from talking, I forget to do something for the kids or I say to myself – I just need to make it through today.
Uhm, no.
Those are the days I know I bought into the systems that want me to be productive, to get one more thing done, to push myself past my limits at my own expense.
It’s at those times that I deploy one of my favorite tools to return to peace and my way of managing time.
I commune with my calendar and embrace the beauty of the buffer.
For all of my Chief sessions, I block out 30 minutes on each end.
If I have a two hour corporate workshop, I block out the ENTIRE day. Yes, I said that.
I love the experience of my workshops and I’m grateful to make such a big impact on a large audience at one time. And also – it’s a tremendous energy output for this introvert/extrovert and I do best when I have the time to put myself back together and rest.
I also block out every morning until 10am so I have time to ease into the day. I am not and will never be a morning person. I have stopped expecting to ever have a “Miracle Morning.” Miracles are reserved for self-awareness and calling out patriarchy when I see it.
If your days are stacked with meetings, start cutting your meetings to 45 minutes and blocking 15 minutes for yourself in-between.
Add a 30 minute lunch break. You are worthy of rest, recharge and a few minutes to swallow your sandwich!
Book a vacation day or half day after work travel.
Reclaim your time little by little and if you’re on the hunt for your next opportunity, look for cultures where breaks are the norm and you can embrace the buffer.