As you may remember, a key part of my work with clients is helping them find the right next role on their terms.

Often times that means…

At an organization that prioritizes kindness and respects boundaries.

In a new industry.

At the right level.

Full transparency–sometimes these opportunities take awhile to find.

It takes thoughtful, persistent working of your search.

It takes turning down the roles that are “good on paper” but don’t meet your non-negotiables.

A higher title is not going to make a toxic culture easier to tolerate.

And if you truly can’t meet your financial responsibilities with the salary offered–passion is not going to pay the bills.

So–one very viable and popular temporary solution my clients choose is to take on project or consulting work while they are pursuing the right next role.

It’s both a way to experiment with new skills and leverage your deep expertise in an area that’s in-demand for the companies and colleagues in your network.

It’s also a way for you to choose the type of partners with whom you want to collaborate.

And my favorite part of this approach is that it’s a way to test out a company culture before you commit to a more full time opportunity.

With many of my clients who choose this path–they make themselves invaluable and then are asked to join the company full time. They say yes only when the opportunity aligns with their terms.

One of my recent clients consulted for nearly a year before committing to a full time role.

She needed the time to refuel after her last role, truly reflect on what she wanted next and ONLY say yes when the role met her criteria.

Yet she was earning the entire time she was job searching so she was able to be more selective and avoid desperation (not the best fuel for effective decision making!).

Job searches unfold at different speeds and I encourage you to get creative, give yourself some grace and stick to your path, your true north, your terms.

Sending you love and strength on your way to what’s next.

And here’s my annual reminder–November and December are POWERFUL times for networking.

Every single year I have clients who accept their new roles in the last six…even two weeks of the year. So don’t take yourself out of the game. Keep going. This year it could be you!

What if...you won nearly every argument with friends and adults alike since you were in high school, killed it in debate tournaments through college and everyone you ever met told you, “You should REALLY be a lawyer!”. You work your butt off in law school and toil away in a firm to become partner. You get to the destination you’ve dreamed about since those feisty teen years and all you want to do is take the first flight out of this life into something more fulfilling.

What if...both of your parents were teachers and all of their friends were teachers and it seemed like they enjoyed their work and it was meaningful. And hello summer adventures! Becoming a teacher felt like an inevitability – even though you were a bit suspicious about why they were counting their days to retirement. You march forward into the teaching profession. It’s fine, but you’re already counting your days til retirement in year four.

What if...you’ve been doing the same damn job for ten years – with little bumps in title and pay to make you feel like you’re growing – but you fear this is the only role in the entire professional universe that you can do. And so you stay. You wonder, but not enough to take action.

These are the boxes we learn to lock ourselves within.

The safe paths.

The roles we know and can see.

They may be the only possibilities we’ve imagined for ourselves. Often others have told us these paths are part of our identities.

The only way out is owning our stuckness. Admitting same, same is not enough. Acknowledging you want more or different or in many cases – less.

It’s flexing your imagination (remember that part of you?) and dreaming up a hundred scenarios of what else this could look like without judging yourself for thinking any of them.

Then, you act.

This isn’t about manifesting or meditating or even hoping these things are possible.

It’s about test and learn. It’s experimenting and gathering the data to see if they’re possible.

Some of these potential paths will not be the right ones for you. Sometimes that bad news can take you down for a while – so expect that.

Yet – some of them will be right.

And finding that new right path isn’t even the most powerful part of this process.

It’s that you’ve learned how to extract yourself from your own rigidity and fear.

Because you’re human, you will find yourself within those boxes again and again and again.

Until you remember your ticket out.

Happy Halloweeeeeeen! If you love this holiday – I wish for you...

Zero costume malfunctions.
Generous sharing of the kids’ haul – especially on the Reese’s front.
And inspiration from all the creative costumes in your neighborhood.

If you’re not so into the spirit – I highly recommend you buy a bag of your favorite candy and indulge in a show you’ve been wanting to binge.

There’s room for all of us here on 10/31.

In our household, something hit us a little quicker that we expected. Our kids made their own plans in the neighborhood and they announced them one night at dinner.

My husband and I looked at each other like – well...what the hell are we doing?

Of course with the kids being 12 and 15, this is happening more often.

Yet, on days like Halloween the standard fare used to be – plan the costume for weeks, leave early from work, have an early quick dinner, get out in the hood on the least crowded routes and spend way too long counting and trading candy before dragging them to bed.

And now…gulp…we’re not so needed for the planning or any of it.

I try not to panic in these moments when I’m reminded the number of years my kids will live with us and be part of our daily lives is shrinking.

I have time to get used to the idea and the grief that comes along with it. Their growing independence simultaneously fills me with pride and strikes like a ticking clock. The loud kind.

What makes me feel better is thinking 1) Even with distance, we can still be close and 2) There are a lot of meaningful projects I will have time to pull off (I mean…how about that book I’ve been threatening to write for – well – my whole life. The one that continues to not write itself?!).

In my work, I see many women in mid-life and while it’s hard for all of you with kids under 5 to believe this will ever happen – you get a lot more bandwidth as the years go on and the kids grow up.

Part of the work is planning on how to spend that time in a meaningful way that aligns with your values and makes use of your superpowers. It’s about learning all of the things you’ve wanted to learn – just because you want to learn them and not because you have to justify it’s more important than meal prep for the week.

So on this day, my husband and I decided we will put our dog Taco in his taco costume (as we’ve done for the past couple of years) and take a spin around our beloved neighborhood that ALWAYS brings their A game on Halloween.

Sidenote – every time someone recognizes our pup’s costume and yells - “A TACO!!”, he howls back and wags his tail like crazy as if to say - ”They know me!!!”

So we know it will bring us joy. And we still have the precious time to debrief with the kids at the end of the night.

What’s important to me and what I share with clients is that you can be both present in these years and plant the seeds for later.

Nearly 20 years ago, I was in a digital marketing role working for a CMO I affectionately call my GOAT boss.

I pulled together a presentation showcasing the new company website – a project I was leading – so that she could share it with the CEO.

Her response to the website and the deck, “Great work! The meeting is at 3 and you’re going to present.”

I froze.

I hadn’t done the days of preparation for this meeting I would typically do for anything I would consider “high stakes.”

All the excuses rose to meet my fear. And even though I had been asking for more opportunities to lead my own projects and for more visibility with senior leaders – when my big shot was right in front of me – I wanted NOTHING to do with seizing the day.

I told her I wasn’t ready and I asked her to present the work.

She smiled and calmly spoke with a direct line to my gripping perfectionism.

She deployed what I now think of as - The Compassionate Nudge.

“This is your great work that needs to be recognized. You should be the one to share it and get the credit for it. I know you haven’t prepared, but you know your stuff, you can do this and I will be right there if you need me to jump in.”

Gulp.

When someone you respect and admire swaddles you in a blanket of belief, the only option is to expand and begin to believe it yourself.

And so I did.

The presentation was both imperfect and well received. I moved through my fear and was a little bit more confident and even ready for the next opportunity to present itself.

I wish I could say this fear and the residual perfectionism completely goes away.

Yet, when I shared this story with nearly 800 people in my last corporate keynote, I was reminded how far I’ve come and that I need to continue to surround myself with people who will practice The Compassionate Nudge with me.

So my fear can be met with love and self belief and proof to others that expansion is possible.

I’m worthy of sharing my work, my gifts and my voice.

And I’m here to Compassionately Nudge you to be and do the same.

Many, many of us are facing career challenges.  We can face these challenges on our own, or we can lean on the wisdom and support of like-minded women.

That's where NEXT Career Crews steps in: your very own crew of compassionate supporters, accountability partners, co-conspirators and truth tellers who are willing to be unapologetically honest about how it's REALLY going in career and life.

NEXT Career Crews are intimate groups of 8-12 women who meet virtually once a month to build each other up, hold space to say the hard things about career and life, share wise advice and remind each other that we are worthy of all of our career desires.

Our next cohort will run from January to December of 2024 and the cost to join this crew is $1200. We meet once a month, typically on the last Tuesday of each month at 12pm ET.

During each session my goal is to facilitate discussion with thought provoking topics selected by the group and to create a safe space for connection building, peer support and vulnerable conversations.

Interested in learning more? RSVP for one of our upcoming informational sessions - October 18th at 12pm ET or November 3rd at 12pm ET - by emailing my colleague Arleen at arleenalmontenext@gmail.com with your name and preferred session!

This week has been hard.

For me. For you. For a world divided, watching humans die and suffer without a quick answer for a way to make it stop.

As a Jew, a mom, and still the child who lost her parents tragically and without warning – hearing the horrific details of this massacre of innocent lives – I’ve been frozen and numb and without words since Saturday.

Yet, also as a Progressive Reform Jew, I’m part of a community that has a deep, spiritual connection to Israel and also fights for peace and empathy and justice for Jews and Palestinian people in this holy land and beyond.

In my opinion, the complexities of this moment make it exactly the wrong debate to have on social media. The nuance, the dualities I’m holding can not fit, nor do they belong on a meme. And so I won’t be engaging in that conversation on the socials.

But here in this community we’ve built, where I can take some time and space to say the hard things, even when we don’t agree on every point – it feels important to share where I’m at.

I don’t have any answers and I’m not an expert on this topic so I will never claim to be.

I do have the heaviest heart and grieve the losses with you.

I do wish I could hug those babies who lost their parents and say – you don’t deserve this. This is not your fault. You didn’t “have it coming.”

For those of you who feel more scared to walk through your lives as a Jew than you did last Friday, sadly, I share that fear with you.

And for those of you who are saying – I’m going to continue to live my life and not show them any fear – I want to continue to learn from you.

Thank you to the beautiful people in my life who are not Jewish and reached out to me this week to check in. I appreciated those notes and love and prayers more than you know.

I will continue to support you in your career journeys in this newsletter next week and do my own work and take my own action in this crisis more privately.

I encourage you to take your own time to share your words and your feelings. You are taking time to process and to do your best – in your own way.

Have you ever wondered how to maintain a career that truly energizes you? I got you.

My one-hour virtual workshop in collaboration with Park Slope Parents is now available for purchase for only $25!

The “Growing A Meaningful Career Workshop” is packed with actionable insights and strategies that will empower you to take control of your career journey. From nurturing essential relationships to making calculated risks, enhancing your personal brand, and much more, this workshop covers it all.

In this workshop, we cover…

Nurturing Key Relationships: Discover the power of cultivating meaningful professional connections that can propel your career forward.

Calculated Risks: Learn how to embrace strategic risk-taking to open up new opportunities and expand your horizons.

Optimizing Your Personal Brand: Find out how to present yourself in a way that resonates with your values and goals, building a compelling personal brand.

Taking the Call: Understand why taking that interview call at least once a year, even when you're not actively seeking a change, can be a game-changer for your career.

It's essential to take charge of your career journey, not just during a transition, but consistently and intentionally.

Growing a Meaningful Career means ongoing self-assessment, strategizing, and taking steps to ensure your career remains fulfilling and aligned with your aspirations.

Waiting. It’s the absolute worst part.

You’ve been through multiple rounds of interviews, received great feedback, they’ve checked your references. You’ve followed up with the powers that be. And yet, there you are. You’re still waiting.

There are MANY reasons these situations happen. Most of them have nothing to do with you.

So, what do you do?

Focus on what you can control.

Hiring freezes, reorganizations, re-prioritizations…and even vacations happen. These things are all out of your control. So focusing your energy on any of these things – or your paranoia of what could be happening is not productive.

What is within your control is tending to other existing processes that are in play AND drumming up new opportunities with outreach to your network.

New conversations. Leads. Possibilities.

So, if this one goes away – which I hope it doesn’t (but it might) – you have the feeling that you still have momentum elsewhere. You’re not starting from scratch.

When you put all of your effort into one process and it goes away…it can feel devastating. Even paralyzing. Please, please don’t do this. It will set back your timeline and it will be tough to recover.

When you move forward with the mindset of - detached optimism - when you have multiple possibilities moving at once, you stay nimble and resilient if rejection comes your way.

I wish I could say you could move through this process without rejection. Sadly, that’s rare. But, if you expect it’s coming and you prepare for it – each hit can be felt and absorbed without taking you out of the game.