Why I take "Grief Days" off

Part of the work of building my business is living my values and using them to be my best boss ever. 

It’s honoring my energy and my mental health. 

It’s acknowledging the tremendous losses I’ve faced throughout my life and knowing that I will never be finished with that healing. 

They teach me. They guide me. They hold me back. They propel me. 

And sometimes they become me. 

Tending to the grieving part of me is an ongoing practice I honor in order to live a full, rich life. 

May 16, 2023 marked 37 years since my earliest and most life-changing loss – the death of both my parents in a car accident. I was nearly 12 when it happened. 

I never know how I’m going to feel on the actual day. Some anniversaries have simply rolled along without a tear. Others kept me under the covers for days.  

This year, as I’ve done for the past couple of years, I took the day off. Even when I wasn’t feeling the emotion coming on. Even when I had upcoming workshop preparation and writing to complete. 

I took a Grief Day. 

I gave myself permission to go at my own pace. 

To do just what I wanted to do. 

To not do anything that felt hard. 

I didn’t post old photos on social media as I’ve done in the past. 

I needed quiet. 

Space to be. 

An invitation for the feelings and memories to come through if they decided to do so. 

And a cushiony rest if they didn’t. 

No pressure for meaning or to do grief right. 

Oh, how we judge ourselves for things that are already hard. 

It was the hug of time and space. 

And all that I needed. 

Thanks to my boss who is often thinking about what I need to do my best–and for acknowledging that grief is part of life. 

As we wrap up Mental Health Awareness month, if it feels safe in your organization and your role, I invite you to normalize talking about grief, supporting ourselves and others through it.