When You Say No to the Big Job

Every so often within the messiness of life – I witness my clients fall into a steady, content state of being.

A confident and compassionate groove.

A flow of working parenthood that clearly is not perfect – yet (holy shit!) it’s actually working.

When this happens, they typically have a community surrounding them that’s meaningful and supportive.

A role where they’re respected and confident about the value they’re bringing to the organization.

And a family that’s emerging from what I call “the in it stage of parenting.” They’ve left toddlerhood and diapers behind and are beginning to see more bandwidth opening up on the horizon.

It’s in this stage of life in which you’ve managed to put the pieces together to become whole once more, that the universe may debut its latest joke at your expense.

Out of thin air, you get a seemingly once in a lifetime opportunity for a BIG and exciting job that requires you to move your family across the country.

As you might imagine, this is not hypothetical and it did happen to a former client of mine recently.

We jumped on a session to discuss it.

We reviewed her non-negotiables, her current values, her pro’s and cons for the role–and even the feelings she was having in her body.

It was clear. She’d built a life of her design. It was on her terms. She was loved and celebrated and supported.

Yet – this could be an adventure, a climb up the ladder, a unique leadership experience.

As I listened, my intuition flooded me with a message I needed to share.

“I don’t know what the right decision is for you, but I do know that if you decide to say no, it doesn’t mean you’re not ambitious.

You can still go after more. You can still hunger in your career – and prioritize the community, the relationships, the ease you’ve intentionally built into your life.”

This is not the binary "ambitious vs. not ambitious" that some may color in the lines of the decision.

You get to choose your version of success.

And there are seasons where flow and ease and community may be the right formula for you.

Sometimes the NO can be the big career win.

I still don’t know what my client has chosen to do – and will certainly support her in either direction.

Yet I can see that the release of the meaning she was placing on saying NO is helping her to make a decision that is on her terms.