Healing from Shame to Grow in Your Career

We discussed mindset shifting tools in my group coaching program this week. I like to dive into this topic early in the process because it’s often mental blocks that are keeping us stuck, rather than more tactical things like resumes and interview skills.

One of my favorites in this set of tools is forgiveness.

Identifying areas where you may be holding shame and offering up acknowledgment and compassion and forgiveness.

I often talk about how this shame showed up for me when I knew I wanted to make a change while in my marketing roles, but felt like I should stay in a safe, flexible role because I had two small children. I stayed in an “it’s fine” career for too long, even while I hungered for a change.

The truth is that this feeling of career shame wasn't new to me. I felt it even before I had a career.

College was not an easy time for me. I struggled to find my way. I transferred after two years, switched my major FIVE times and nearly took time off after my junior year. Finally, I decided to identify my easiest path to graduation and took it--rather than spending the time expanding my mind, learning, growing and challenging myself to think in new ways about what was possible for my future.

I held onto tremendous shame about this period of my life for many years.

Feeling like I squandered an opportunity.

Like I wasn’t smart enough or built for grad school.

Like I learned in pockets here and there, but don’t remember much.

After some deep work thinking about that kid I used to describe as flailing…

I now see her as a human who was grieving.

As you may remember, my parents died in a car accident when I was nearly 12 and while college came several years after this loss, I see now with adult eyes--I was in acute grief, untethered and in survival mode.

I did the best I could. So did all of the grownups surrounding me who were also grieving.

Would I do things differently with my own kids? Absolutely. I would love them where they are. I would advocate for their mental health needs knowing that achievement and credentials can wait. And that’s how I continue to re-parent that part of me.

I acknowledge her struggle. I show her forgiveness and compassion and love. I cheer her on for trying new things where she’s not an immediate expert. I remind her that lifelong learning is what keeps my mind active and alive. I can both fill in some of the gaps of what I may have missed and learn new skills that weren’t even invented at that time.

I can also be grateful that she/I prioritized putting one foot in front of the other in that tough moment. That I got the support I needed. That I was optimistic more would open up for me after graduation. And it did.

What shame are you holding onto in your career and in your life?
Where can you show that younger you some acceptance of her humanity? Some love? She’s ready and willing and very curious about what may come next.

The Question Every Employee Wants to Hear

Colleagues, clients and friends who are leaders in their organizations are hungry to know...how do I retain employees right now when they have so many options?

How do I keep them hungry, engaged...dare I say, happy in their jobs?

The answer is both complex and simple. The complex part - it’s different for everyone. You’re not going to get at everyone’s challenges with one blanket solution.

I’ve been seeing this approach in various organizations. Offering up free subscriptions to professional development or fitness tools. Or giving one extra Mental Health Day off to the whole staff. These are all lovely and generous perks. Yet, they most likely don’t address the challenges most employees are facing.

One powerful way to retain employees right now is to courageously ask them…

What do you need?

To listen with curiosity and openness.

And then collaborate with your employees on solutions.

Is it the opportunity to delegate a piece of the role that doesn’t match up to her strengths?

Is it starting work at 9:30 twice a week so she can drop off her son at school?

Is it the ability to speak openly about what a longer term career path looks like?

Is it a 20% raise to bring her up to market rate - a number she has the research and evidence to back up?

If you truly want to retain employees right now, listen to them and act accordingly.

One of the most popular ways I’ve helped organizations with a customized and empathetic approach to supporting their employees in the past is to offer Virtual Coaching Days. I provide a day of 50-minute, 1:1 sessions to multiple employees who are not eligible for longer coaching engagements.

In the past I’ve worked with clients like American Express, Brookfield Properties and the Council of Urban Professionals to support leaders and teams with Coaching Days and the reviews were both heartwarming for me and powerful for clients in the respective organizations.

If you’re currently leading a team and looking for some support around year-end reviews, planning, professional development or internal career pathing, feel free to reach out via email at rachel@rachelbgarrett.com!

Ready to Redesign Your Career on Your Terms?

As you may remember, earlier this year, I launched my first official group program. It was a huge milestone for me and all the women who joined me on the journey.

And if you’re a long-time reader, you also know that in my first five years of business, I focused exclusively on 1:1 coaching. I loved (and still love) the intimacy, the connection, the magic that happens when my intuition tips me off to ask just the right question, unlocking new insight into how my client can make her way through the mud to find ease and confidence on the other end.

I’ve felt immense pride when client after client walked through my career pathing process and not only discovered her answers, but also allowed her answers to be worthy of living and breathing, of becoming a reality right in front of her.

Then the pandemic began. With it came sickness, loss, fear of the unknown, fear of the known. There was a hunger for connection and also a calling to be all things for our families. Protector, provider, teacher, spinner of a china cabinet’s worth of plates.

The women in my world were struggling. They were critical of themselves for their inability to make an impossible situation work. Many were laid off. For some their caregiving breaks were extended way beyond their level of comfort. Their job searches, career transitions, and dreams were put on pause with the rest of life.

In this moment, I was called to serve them, to see them, to show up for them in an entirely new way. From this chaos, Career Command was born.

The intention of Career Command was twofold:

1. Share my proven career pathing process with the women who needed it most, expanding my impact WAY beyond the number of clients I could serve with 1:1 coaching.

2. Provide a brave space for women to share both their struggles and wins as they build careers on their own terms (the opposite of what our culture tells us is possible...*rolls eyes*).

I’m not going to lie. I was both 100% committed to this program AND I was filled with more fear than my 15lb Schnoodle pup when he sees a German Shepherd. I moved through my fear with all of my coaching tools, supportive friends and family, and a kickass team who filled in for all of my "less energizing strengths."

And I could not be more proud of what we’ve built.

We’re now halfway through with our 2nd three month cohort of Career Command and the women are making big shifts, sharing their wins and diving into all the content like it’s their job...because their biggest insight in the program is that investing (time and money) in themselves matters. Their career dreams matter.

With all of the experience of these first two groups and their helpful feedback, I’m so excited for some of the tweaks we’re making to the program so that it’s even more powerful.

As it always has been, Career Command will continue to be for mid-career women who are looking to step into work that is more meaningful to them and is on their terms. It is for women who are either in an active job search or career transition OR those who are simply feeling that nudge that they want something more and don’t know where to begin.

In this next version of the program, we have...

• Reshaped it into a 6-month program...because that’s how long career shifts take and I want to support you through each step of the process!

• Added more virtual hands-on workshopping for ALL of the modules...so you have a space to share your insights and feelings around each one.

• Provided more space to connect with this amazing community of women by adding curated Career Pods (based on either industry, discipline, or other connective threads).

If this sounds like it’s for you and you’re ready to make the shift with us, I can’t wait to see you there. I’m opening the doors for this program on September 13th and I've created a waitlist so you can be the first to know when and where to join.

Sign, me up for that waitlist, please!

And you may have seen that the week before we open up Career Command, I’m going to offer a free week of group coaching and support in a pop-up podcast called, Being Me At Work. I’m still fleshing out the details but will be back in your inbox next week with more information on how you can join us. Stay tuned!

Three Questions to Ask Before a Career Shift

I heard a really good litmus test for career shift timing.

If when you leave, it doesn’t feel bittersweet, you’ve stayed too long.

I love that it honors the fact that even when you know the change is the right thing for you, it will still be hard. There are people you’ll miss. Projects you’ll leave unfinished. A reputation that earned you respect and flexibility.

And yet, even with all of these gems in place within your current situation, there’s a nudge to move on. It’s hard to explain to your people AND also it grows to the point of being tough to ignore.

As I share with my clients, exploring your next move DOES NOT mean you’re quitting tomorrow. It simply means, you’re open to something new and you’re willing to take the steps to figure out what it is.

A thoughtful process includes getting clear on WHAT YOU WANT instead of responding to all the boring job descriptions YOU THINK YOU CAN DO. You must start inward to find the role that is on your terms, based on your priorities.

So how do you know if it’s the right time to start this process? I ask potential clients these three questions to see if they’re ready.

1. Are you hungry for something new (a company, different type of work, level of impact, company culture, way of working)?

2. Are you open to a period of time where you are exploring, where you don’t have all the answers right away?

3. Are you ready to make your needs, dreams, aspirations a priority--like truly making some time for yourself and this process each week? Hot tip: It doesn’t have to be A LOT of time. Even with 1-2 hours a week, you can make progress and gain momentum.

If you answered yes, to all of these questions...what are you waiting for? Let’s talk!

I’m now offering a 6-month, Career Transition 1:1 Coaching option that combines 1:1 Coaching Sessions and access to my online course, the Career Command Process. This online course is comprised of video modules, worksheets, and prompts - my Career Command Crew Members are RAVING about these resources. I’m thrilled to be able to bring my most powerful tools and private coaching together for one transformational program.

Only 5 spots are available for this new Career Transition 1:1 Coaching program so grab yours now!

Learn more about the program and feel free to schedule a call.