Emails, permission slips, volunteer requests, fundraisers, performances, parties, picnics, dances, field days, spirit days, random mid-week holidays...

Every day of the last month of the school year is overflowing with all of these things and more that I’m too tired to remember.

Each year as this cluster of a month creeps up on me, I start to feel a panic about how I’m going to get it all done.

Then comes the calm when I realize: I won’t. And that’s ok.

I sit down with my husband and kids and say – what’s most important here? And what can we opt out of because it’s less important to all of us?

We just decided we’re going to skip the middle school fundraiser. We bought the tickets so we contributed and I donated my services to the auction, but we don’t need to go.

Because alternatively – we are seeing the middle school musical…THREE times.

Where – as a busy working parent – can you simplify?

What can you say to yourself when you feel the guilt?

What can you do to repair your relationship with your kid when you inevitably mess one (or more) of these things up?

Is it just me or has any other mom brought their kid to a birthday party a week early?

As much as you can get ahead of it, I recommend you do. And then simply have compassion for yourself when it doesn’t all go according to plan.

Well, I’ll surely see some of you at all the things in the next month or I won’t because I need a break.

We’re in the homestretch, people!

Let’s get us all over the finish line.

Part of the work of building my business is living my values and using them to be my best boss ever. 

It’s honoring my energy and my mental health. 

It’s acknowledging the tremendous losses I’ve faced throughout my life and knowing that I will never be finished with that healing. 

They teach me. They guide me. They hold me back. They propel me. 

And sometimes they become me. 

Tending to the grieving part of me is an ongoing practice I honor in order to live a full, rich life. 

May 16, 2023 marked 37 years since my earliest and most life-changing loss – the death of both my parents in a car accident. I was nearly 12 when it happened. 

I never know how I’m going to feel on the actual day. Some anniversaries have simply rolled along without a tear. Others kept me under the covers for days.  

This year, as I’ve done for the past couple of years, I took the day off. Even when I wasn’t feeling the emotion coming on. Even when I had upcoming workshop preparation and writing to complete. 

I took a Grief Day. 

I gave myself permission to go at my own pace. 

To do just what I wanted to do. 

To not do anything that felt hard. 

I didn’t post old photos on social media as I’ve done in the past. 

I needed quiet. 

Space to be. 

An invitation for the feelings and memories to come through if they decided to do so. 

And a cushiony rest if they didn’t. 

No pressure for meaning or to do grief right. 

Oh, how we judge ourselves for things that are already hard. 

It was the hug of time and space. 

And all that I needed. 

Thanks to my boss who is often thinking about what I need to do my best–and for acknowledging that grief is part of life. 

As we wrap up Mental Health Awareness month, if it feels safe in your organization and your role, I invite you to normalize talking about grief, supporting ourselves and others through it.

You may recall, I love to bust all the bogus career myths out there. Here are two that are ripe for the shredding...

Careers are linear.

And also…

If I switch careers, it means I failed at the first career.

Uh...nope and nope.

According to industry estimates, Americans will have an average of 5 to 7 careers in their lifetime and 12 jobs.*

Yes, that means a lot of disparate parts and dots to connect when you tell your career narrative.

And also – it brings together a wealth of diverse skills and expertise that make you UNIQUELY you.

So the next time you ignore the nudge for something new and double down on the belief that leaving is failing – honor your instincts with some time and space to think through what is truly holding you back.

Remember, most careers are twisty. That’s how we flex and grow and find new joy in our work.

If you’re ready to explore a change, sign up for a 30-minute complimentary clarity call OR join me tomorrow night for my workshop with Park Slope Parents - Growing A Meaningful Career--On Your Terms.

There’s still room for you and your career desires.

* U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics of the Department of Labor tracks job change data, but the data is less precise when it comes to what is actually considered a career change. Therefore, the career change estimate was drawn from several career support industry websites - Zippia, GoRemotely, Career Advice Online.

I’m so excited to be partnering, yet again, with Park Slope Parents on a fun workshop where we’ll be helping you get back in the driver's seat of your career.

Our Growing A Meaningful Career - On Your Terms Virtual Live Event will help you be intentional about what you want next – even when you’re in a job you like…or dare I say love.

Join me for a one hour virtual workshop where you will learn how to maintain an energizing  career by nurturing key relationships, experimenting, taking calculated risks, optimizing how you talk about yourself and taking the call (at least!) once a year for an interview.

When you intentionally do this work and continue to make these 2% (or bigger) changes on the regular, you will feel adaptable and flexible enough to see new possibilities when they arise and go after them with confidence and self-trust.

DATE: May 24, 2023
TIME: 7:00pm ET
COST: $30 ($25 for PSP Members)

As you may know, I offer a complimentary 30-minute zoom call for those who reach out and want to learn more about me and my coaching program. 

Oftentimes in these conversations, we uncover some of the shame that’s holding people back from taking a next step. 

It can be “mistakes” or “failures” from the past that are showing up as fear. 

And sometimes it’s the skyscraper height expectations to have it all figured out by this [INSERT ANY ARBITRARY NUMBER] age. 

It can sound like, “I don’t even know what my dream job would be.” 

Deep breath. 

Please accept my invitation to release yourself from the idea that there even is a dream job out there. 

That’s a lot of pressure to put on a job. Of course you’re going to be hesitant to take any action. 

The lightning bolt epiphany delivery system has not run its course and you’re still in uncertainty. 

Great reason to remain stuck, lost and playing it safe. 

Your next role DOES NOT need to be your dream job for it to feel meaningful or successful or the right next step at the right moment in your life. 

Once you take the dream job idea off the table, the questions you can ask yourself are…

What am I curious about?

What do I want to learn?

Where can I make an impact that’s important to me? 

What feels fun and energizing right now? 

Who would pay me good money to do what I do best? 

When you walk through life with an openness to finding clues about what could be next and where you can experiment, you’re more likely to make the connections that will help you get into action. 

As someone who has what some might describe as “the dream job”, I can assure you, while it’s wonderful – it’s not all unicorns and rainbows. There are shitty things I need to do as part of my work. There are moments when it is really damn hard. 

And I know for certain – I would never have made it here if I thought I was signing up for the dream job. I said I would try it out for a while and see what happened. I started coaching while I was in my marketing role and remained there for 1.5 years while I experimented. That took the pressure off and allowed me to get into action while keeping expectations measured. 

Let’s talk so we can help you walk away from the dream job idea that’s keeping you stuck and begin following your curiosity with a baby step that’s actually a really big deal. 

A couple of weeks ago, my family and I went to New Orleans for spring break. Can I get an amen for vacation?!

Outside of the memorable food, music and alligators–our family of lifelong New Yorkers was struck by the friendliness and openness of all the people we met–even in the briefest of conversations. 

One of these exchanges was with the easygoing thirty year old who drove us from the airport to our hotel. In addition to telling us about all the off the beaten path spots we should hit on our trip, he shared that he had been slowly paying his way through college to become an engineer and would be graduating this coming May. 

He announced that he would be heading to Detroit to start his dream job at a top American Automaker right after graduation. How did he get this role? 

Well–he used his driving job (that has been also paying his college tuition) as a way to constantly be networking. After years of talking to anyone and everyone who came through his car, he happened upon four lucky days last year, when he drove around the CEO of this car company. They got to know each other–and like each other. Several interviews later, this open, curious and SMART car-lover has a plan for his next exciting adventure! 

As you can imagine, I couldn’t shake this story the entire vacation. 

Many of my clients really struggle with networking. They fear asking people for help. Going outside of their comfort zones. 
Yet sometimes, all you need to do is talk and get interested in the people who are already around you. They may even be the people who are in your comfort zone. 

They’re friends of friends that you meet at a small gathering. 

They are the other parents at school drop offs and birthday parties. 

They are the people on line waiting for Beignets at Cafe Du Monde. 

For my fellow New Yorkers, I get it. Our hard, closed off shell is part of our charm. But, if you can channel your inner New Orleans curiosity just a smidge, you may meet the CEO of your future company. I’m here to say…it does happen!

Every time I mention that NYC in spring is my happy place, my friends with allergies give me a look of horror. So, respect and compassion for those of you who are suffering right now. The beauty and the beast of being in nature in this moment is one of those reminders that both things can be true. 

On my daily walks in Prospect Park, when I’m not chatting with a buddy, I’m listening to another group of close friends, advocates and guides. Yeah, well, they don’t know me, but I do find them to be heart-filling walking companions. 

You know I love to share my picks for mind-expanding podcast episodes…so here are some from the last few months. Put them on your listening list and let me know what you think! 

The Ezra Klein Show: The Quiet Catastrophe Brewing in Our Social Lives

This conversation powerfully pulled together the threads of so many challenges of our time. Pervasive loneliness. The unworkability of the nuclear family. The deprioritization of friendships and leisure time. It puts into words why making the tough choice to pursue city life for the long haul has been the right one for me. As someone who struggled with isolation and depression in early life, I know I’m a better human when I’m with my people. A lot of them. And this deep dive offers many ideas that may have been behind that gut instinct. 

Maintenance Phase: Doctors Have A New Plan For Fat Kids

If you’re as angry as I am about the recent release of the new (horrific) American Academy of Pediatrics Guidelines around “obesity” in children–recommending restriction and counseling for kids as young as 2, medication for tweens and (WTAF) Bariatric Surgery for kids as young as 13–please, listen to this incredibly thoughtful breakdown of the guidelines and who they serve by Fat Activist, Aubrey Gordon and her co-host Michael Hobbes. 

Full Plate: Body Shame and the Whiteness of Wellness with Jessica Wilson

In the background of my work, I’ve been breaking up with diet and wellness culture. More on this in a future newsletter. Abbie Attwood’s podcast, Full Plate, has been one of the important resources for me in this journey. This episode with Jessica Wilson, RD was an incredible shift in the conversation around how anti-fatness, diet and wellness culture intersect with white supremacy. As I came to see my own participation in diet and wellness culture as upholding oppressive systems–it was the final nail in the coffin leading me to my own unlearning. Highly recommend Jessica’s book, It’s Always Been Ours, I listened to the audiobook in a day. Incredible and juicy storytelling. (Imagine an entire chapter about a GOOP conference!) 

Wiser Than Me: Julia Gets Wise With Jane Fonda

Where are the voices of older, wise women? That was exactly the question Julia Louis Dreyfus asked after watching a recent Jane Fonda documentary. So she decided to create a new podcast where she interviews women over 70. And I’m so glad she did! I love being reminded of how this older generation of women paved the way for so much of the activism we’re a part of now . While there’s still A LONG way to go to get to equity their stories bring to light how far we’ve come. 

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepherd: Rick Rubin

Full transparency–this is one of three interviews I’ve listened to with Rick Rubin after the release of his book (which I’m now reading and loving): The Creative Act: A Way of Being. The book title says it all about Rick (we’re tight now). Curiosity, openness, awareness, availability, playfulness–they are a way of being for him and it completely makes sense how he–as a music producer–can jump to every single genre there is–and find something to like, to love and create. Some of his philosophy harkens back to one of my favorite books about creativity, Liz Gilbert’s Big Magic. Somehow, I feel protective of Liz and want to give her credit for getting there first (again–she and I are for sure friends in an alternate universe), but when I back down from my mama bear-ness, I want to continue to swim in the world that both of these brilliant thinkers depict where creativity is about openness, readiness and opportunity that EVERY human has to notice cool stuff in the world. 

There were so many more shows that didn’t make the list so if you’re hungry for more audio content, hit me up for suggestions! 

Happy listening and transforming everyone! 

Last month, on a Tuesday, I had a scary morning. 

I came in from the (very short) morning walk with my dog, was about to prepare breakfast for myself and I took a sip of water. I felt some pain while drinking. Head rush. Grabbed the wall. 

The next thing I remember, I was sitting on my kitchen floor in a pool of spilled water, with my 14 year old daughter, Jane, asking me, “Are you ok? Do you know that you fell?” 

I came to… in shock, surprised to be sitting. Surprised to have no memory of what just happened. 

Jane led me to the couch where I slowly came back to myself. 

For the next hour, I started every sentence with, “I’m fine.” Which is pretty weird when you’re asking someone what they want for lunch. 

My plan: move through the day as if nothing happened. I mean. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. 

I had several important meetings including kicking off a new group I’m leading with 11 accomplished and talented women. 

I decided to reach out to my doctor more for “a heads up” and for validation of my decision to forge forward with these mission critical meetings. 

That’s not what I got. 

She urged me to go to the ER to be checked out. The fact that I lost consciousness for a bit and that this had never happened before was enough for her to be concerned. 

My gut reaction: this is overkill and I don’t have time for this today. 

I called my brother in law who is an MD. Again, his response was the same. This is serious and you need to be seen. 

The seriousness of all the medical people started  to get me spooked, but I still felt a complete, full body resistance to walking away from my commitments. 

Then finally my neighbor and close friend gave me the reality check and tough talk I needed. 

Everyone will understand. You need to make yourself a priority. This is the most important thing right now. 

I canceled everything. 

Every single person on the other end showed up with compassion and warmth and understanding that I was doing the right thing. 

My friend walked me the two blocks to the hospital and the whole experience took 3 hours (happily several hours shorter than I imagined). 

And I was ok. A vasovagal response to the pain while drinking the water. That’s fancy medical terms for fainting. 

As I rested the rest of the day and evening, I didn’t shame the part of me that wanted to push through. That’s the culture we live in. I’m sure I’m not alone in this response and I want to believe that next time I will make a different choice as soon as something comes up. 

What I have been thinking about the most are my people. If you know you’re someone who will just push through–surround yourself with people who will not allow it. Who will help you choose yourself. 

From my family, to my friends to my business partners–everyone guided me and cleared the path for me to show up for myself. And I walked away both grateful and knowing of the kind of family, friend and business partner I want to show up to be.