As I've been mentioning in previous newsletters, I’m in the process of healing some childhood wounds around body shame and a lifetime of normalized food restriction egged on by the $72 billion diet industry and my well meaning, but misguided, parents.

On a personal level – my goal is to break this cycle in my family AND give fewer (if any) fucks by the time I hit 50 about how close I am to the manufactured thin ideal.

I’m walking straight into the fire on the path toward accepting my genetically predetermined body size and learning to trust myself when it comes to desire – with food and beyond.

On a macro level, I’m beginning to see the impacts of diet culture on women’s careers.

How we spend endless amounts of time planning and counting and tracking and dialoguing with our internalized rules instead of creating and innovating and advocating for our place at the table. Or building a new fucking table.

How we hunger for influence and joy and agency, but accept rice cake crumbs and pretend we are satisfied.

There’s so much to share about how this Anti-diet and Body Liberation work intersects with my own mission of helping women design careers on their own terms.

New ways to think about organizational cultures, inclusive spaces, setting boundaries in relationships, plus corporate wellness programs !

And, of course, it’s me so there are PODCASTS. So many podcasts.

All the ideas are percolating.

Yet, for now, I’m still in the messy middle of working through my thoughts and feelings. My grief and all of the hard truths I’ve been avoiding by distracting myself with diets and "wellness" as it’s now called (same restrictive rules, new marketing).

Getting back to the title of this post, I promise that today, I did set out to write about self-compassion. As it turns out…I did.

I sat down and let my fingers type out the words my body wanted to share. I trusted this was the message that needed to come through – ready or not.

I honored my desire to tell the truth. To be who I am and who I continue to become.

So yes, self-compassion FTW.

I’m here for you and your connection to your desires. I’m grateful we’re in community to chip, chip, chip away at the Patriarchy with its goal to keep us small and without energy to fight back.

In this intense end of school year month (see last week’s post for acknowledgement and validation of your power parenting efforts), I find myself with less than my normal energy.

To put it simply…I’m damn tired.

So when I was working with my Online Business Manager to plan for the next few months – I noticed I kept saying the same phrase to describe projects that got the green light...

"Yes, I like it. It sounds like a light lift.”

This isn’t my season to shoulder heavy tasks that require deep thinking, focus and intensity.

As I learned from last summer, it’s a season for me to take extra time for myself and connect with people I love. To see theater and take in all of the arts New York City has to offer. It’s a time for me to receive inspiration and to refuel.

It’s my time to rest. Contrary to what our hustley, productivity-obsessed culture will have you believe, rest is an essential part of how I find meaning, creativity, flow and financial success in my business.

The beauty in the handful of light lift projects I’m working on is that they will make a BIG impact for the people in my community.

Some on the list are:

• Opening up my monthly Office Hours sessions to everyone for free - even for those who haven’t yet worked with me. (Learn more about that here!)

• Creating a Self Study version of my Career Command Framework - currently in soft launch if you want to check it out.

• Building in more ways for my current and former clients to connect with each other.

This insight comes as a reminder that work doesn’t have to be hard or a struggle to be meaningful or important.

Rest is radical and it’s something I want to model for my kids.

So, while June will be intense until the very last day of the month, I know relief and recharge are coming.

I’m excited to share more about my “light lift, big impact” projects as they are ready and I encourage you to think about what yours will be.

What can you do that feels easy, energizing AND ALSO important?

Emails, permission slips, volunteer requests, fundraisers, performances, parties, picnics, dances, field days, spirit days, random mid-week holidays...

Every day of the last month of the school year is overflowing with all of these things and more that I’m too tired to remember.

Each year as this cluster of a month creeps up on me, I start to feel a panic about how I’m going to get it all done.

Then comes the calm when I realize: I won’t. And that’s ok.

I sit down with my husband and kids and say – what’s most important here? And what can we opt out of because it’s less important to all of us?

We just decided we’re going to skip the middle school fundraiser. We bought the tickets so we contributed and I donated my services to the auction, but we don’t need to go.

Because alternatively – we are seeing the middle school musical…THREE times.

Where – as a busy working parent – can you simplify?

What can you say to yourself when you feel the guilt?

What can you do to repair your relationship with your kid when you inevitably mess one (or more) of these things up?

Is it just me or has any other mom brought their kid to a birthday party a week early?

As much as you can get ahead of it, I recommend you do. And then simply have compassion for yourself when it doesn’t all go according to plan.

Well, I’ll surely see some of you at all the things in the next month or I won’t because I need a break.

We’re in the homestretch, people!

Let’s get us all over the finish line.

Part of the work of building my business is living my values and using them to be my best boss ever. 

It’s honoring my energy and my mental health. 

It’s acknowledging the tremendous losses I’ve faced throughout my life and knowing that I will never be finished with that healing. 

They teach me. They guide me. They hold me back. They propel me. 

And sometimes they become me. 

Tending to the grieving part of me is an ongoing practice I honor in order to live a full, rich life. 

May 16, 2023 marked 37 years since my earliest and most life-changing loss – the death of both my parents in a car accident. I was nearly 12 when it happened. 

I never know how I’m going to feel on the actual day. Some anniversaries have simply rolled along without a tear. Others kept me under the covers for days.  

This year, as I’ve done for the past couple of years, I took the day off. Even when I wasn’t feeling the emotion coming on. Even when I had upcoming workshop preparation and writing to complete. 

I took a Grief Day. 

I gave myself permission to go at my own pace. 

To do just what I wanted to do. 

To not do anything that felt hard. 

I didn’t post old photos on social media as I’ve done in the past. 

I needed quiet. 

Space to be. 

An invitation for the feelings and memories to come through if they decided to do so. 

And a cushiony rest if they didn’t. 

No pressure for meaning or to do grief right. 

Oh, how we judge ourselves for things that are already hard. 

It was the hug of time and space. 

And all that I needed. 

Thanks to my boss who is often thinking about what I need to do my best–and for acknowledging that grief is part of life. 

As we wrap up Mental Health Awareness month, if it feels safe in your organization and your role, I invite you to normalize talking about grief, supporting ourselves and others through it.

You may recall, I love to bust all the bogus career myths out there. Here are two that are ripe for the shredding...

Careers are linear.

And also…

If I switch careers, it means I failed at the first career.

Uh...nope and nope.

According to industry estimates, Americans will have an average of 5 to 7 careers in their lifetime and 12 jobs.*

Yes, that means a lot of disparate parts and dots to connect when you tell your career narrative.

And also – it brings together a wealth of diverse skills and expertise that make you UNIQUELY you.

So the next time you ignore the nudge for something new and double down on the belief that leaving is failing – honor your instincts with some time and space to think through what is truly holding you back.

Remember, most careers are twisty. That’s how we flex and grow and find new joy in our work.

If you’re ready to explore a change, sign up for a 30-minute complimentary clarity call OR join me tomorrow night for my workshop with Park Slope Parents - Growing A Meaningful Career--On Your Terms.

There’s still room for you and your career desires.

* U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics of the Department of Labor tracks job change data, but the data is less precise when it comes to what is actually considered a career change. Therefore, the career change estimate was drawn from several career support industry websites - Zippia, GoRemotely, Career Advice Online.

I’m so excited to be partnering, yet again, with Park Slope Parents on a fun workshop where we’ll be helping you get back in the driver's seat of your career.

Our Growing A Meaningful Career - On Your Terms Virtual Live Event will help you be intentional about what you want next – even when you’re in a job you like…or dare I say love.

Join me for a one hour virtual workshop where you will learn how to maintain an energizing  career by nurturing key relationships, experimenting, taking calculated risks, optimizing how you talk about yourself and taking the call (at least!) once a year for an interview.

When you intentionally do this work and continue to make these 2% (or bigger) changes on the regular, you will feel adaptable and flexible enough to see new possibilities when they arise and go after them with confidence and self-trust.

DATE: May 24, 2023
TIME: 7:00pm ET
COST: $30 ($25 for PSP Members)

As you may know, I offer a complimentary 30-minute zoom call for those who reach out and want to learn more about me and my coaching program. 

Oftentimes in these conversations, we uncover some of the shame that’s holding people back from taking a next step. 

It can be “mistakes” or “failures” from the past that are showing up as fear. 

And sometimes it’s the skyscraper height expectations to have it all figured out by this [INSERT ANY ARBITRARY NUMBER] age. 

It can sound like, “I don’t even know what my dream job would be.” 

Deep breath. 

Please accept my invitation to release yourself from the idea that there even is a dream job out there. 

That’s a lot of pressure to put on a job. Of course you’re going to be hesitant to take any action. 

The lightning bolt epiphany delivery system has not run its course and you’re still in uncertainty. 

Great reason to remain stuck, lost and playing it safe. 

Your next role DOES NOT need to be your dream job for it to feel meaningful or successful or the right next step at the right moment in your life. 

Once you take the dream job idea off the table, the questions you can ask yourself are…

What am I curious about?

What do I want to learn?

Where can I make an impact that’s important to me? 

What feels fun and energizing right now? 

Who would pay me good money to do what I do best? 

When you walk through life with an openness to finding clues about what could be next and where you can experiment, you’re more likely to make the connections that will help you get into action. 

As someone who has what some might describe as “the dream job”, I can assure you, while it’s wonderful – it’s not all unicorns and rainbows. There are shitty things I need to do as part of my work. There are moments when it is really damn hard. 

And I know for certain – I would never have made it here if I thought I was signing up for the dream job. I said I would try it out for a while and see what happened. I started coaching while I was in my marketing role and remained there for 1.5 years while I experimented. That took the pressure off and allowed me to get into action while keeping expectations measured. 

Let’s talk so we can help you walk away from the dream job idea that’s keeping you stuck and begin following your curiosity with a baby step that’s actually a really big deal. 

A couple of weeks ago, my family and I went to New Orleans for spring break. Can I get an amen for vacation?!

Outside of the memorable food, music and alligators–our family of lifelong New Yorkers was struck by the friendliness and openness of all the people we met–even in the briefest of conversations. 

One of these exchanges was with the easygoing thirty year old who drove us from the airport to our hotel. In addition to telling us about all the off the beaten path spots we should hit on our trip, he shared that he had been slowly paying his way through college to become an engineer and would be graduating this coming May. 

He announced that he would be heading to Detroit to start his dream job at a top American Automaker right after graduation. How did he get this role? 

Well–he used his driving job (that has been also paying his college tuition) as a way to constantly be networking. After years of talking to anyone and everyone who came through his car, he happened upon four lucky days last year, when he drove around the CEO of this car company. They got to know each other–and like each other. Several interviews later, this open, curious and SMART car-lover has a plan for his next exciting adventure! 

As you can imagine, I couldn’t shake this story the entire vacation. 

Many of my clients really struggle with networking. They fear asking people for help. Going outside of their comfort zones. 
Yet sometimes, all you need to do is talk and get interested in the people who are already around you. They may even be the people who are in your comfort zone. 

They’re friends of friends that you meet at a small gathering. 

They are the other parents at school drop offs and birthday parties. 

They are the people on line waiting for Beignets at Cafe Du Monde. 

For my fellow New Yorkers, I get it. Our hard, closed off shell is part of our charm. But, if you can channel your inner New Orleans curiosity just a smidge, you may meet the CEO of your future company. I’m here to say…it does happen!