Last week, my ten year old daughter, Roxanne, came home from school with an assignment that honored the 100th Day of School. I know, how did we get here so fast?

The assignment: Make a list of 100 things that bring you joy.

While we’re usually pretty hands-off when it comes to homework, the whole family jumped in and made this our evening activity.

Especially our older daughter, Jane, who has always been driven by her sense of wonder.

This exercise lit a fire in her that tapped into her innate joie de vivre.

For the next hour, she shared a steady stream of hundreds of things, moments, and ideas that brought her joy.

“Taking long walks in the park.

Jasmine rice

Getting presents.

Giving presents!

Using your parents’ logic against them.

When someone has the reaction you were hoping for.

Boggle! And not just because I always win.

When someone smiles at you.”

Then, with perfect comedic timing, Roxanne added: “Making a list of 100 things that bring you joy!”

It made our evening and our week.

It reminded us how much joy we can find in our lives in the smallest of moments. If we’re present. If we’re open. If we allow ourselves to savor life’s Boggle-sized gems.

I encourage you to make this list. With a partner, your family, with friends, or on your own.

Keep it handy. Read it when you remember. Add things to it often. And feel the joy again.

When I was pregnant with my older daughter, I knew I wanted to take six months off. I knew financially the six months was a beautiful gift for which we had saved and planned—but that I could not take longer than that timeframe. My income was a necessity for our family equation. I was prepared for this reality, but often lamented and shared with friends my sadness that I did not have the choice to stay at home full-time as my mother had. I had enjoyed a successful career in digital marketing, but the excitement for this next chapter, this chance to be a mom—something I'd dreamed about since being a child playing house—was my first priority and consumed my every thought. 

Then I gave birth to my daughter, my love, who came out of the womb with a big heart and a strong will. I adored my life of caring for this new and curious creature, but around month four, something unexpected happened. I yearned to talk to former colleagues about projects and have conversations that didn't include topics like the color of poop and the number of ounces anyone drank in one sitting. At a time I thought I would be mourning my dwindling leave, I was strategizing about the people I could talk with so that I could land a more flexible role. It was then that I realized that we are all wired differently, unaware of how we will react or the decisions we will make until living in and through a situation. And that's okay. I had to do what would be right for me as a mother. I needed to work and I also wanted to work. That was good information for me! What's critical is that I didn't make myself feel bad about my realization. I was going to be a happier parent if I was working. 

In my practice, I coach many clients who have made the opposite decision, taking a break from their careers when becoming parents. I admire and respect that they have made the decision that is right for them and their families. That said, I hear and see many of the challenges they face when returning. Some are internal challenges, yes—and after our work together—they kick those issues to the curb. But some are realities of our culture that they wish they'd known before taking their break. Even with this knowledge, I still believe this could be a viable option for you, but I want you to go in with the data and the understanding of what may be meeting you on the other end. 

So if you're thinking of taking a career break after becoming a parent, here are the things I'm compelled to share: 

1. Go beyond finances and consider your identity
Often I hear stay at home moms say something like, "It didn't make sense for me to work because my salary would simply cover the cost of childcare and we would break even." If you've run the numbers, that may be true in the short-term. We'll talk about long-term financial impact later, but for now it's important to note that pre-kids, much of our identity is interwoven with our careers. For many that have college and graduate degrees and then years of intense careers under their belts—bringing that path to a grinding halt can be traumatic, no matter how in love with their children they are. If you and your partner are making a decision to take a break solely for financial reasons, I would push you to consider how this will affect your happiness and well-being—given who you have been and your priorities to date. I would also suggest you work with a financial planner who can help you create a model that is longer term. You may be able to get creative and figure out a way to stay in the game in some way if that's what you desire. 

2. All or nothing are not your only options
While the fast and rigorous pace of your current role may not be what you want for when you become a parent—it doesn't mean there aren't other options out there for you. I went from working long hours at a fortune-100 company, to leveraging my most marketable skills three days a week for a non-profit. I eventually ramped up my hours, but for a temporary period while my kids were young, I was able to stay in the game, continue to learn and get paid what I believed I was worth. If your concerns are around, not being able to "do it all", let me put this to bed for you. You will not be able to do it all, no matter what option you choose. Flexible options are tougher to find, but they're out there and what's nice is that you can create them by leveraging the strong network you've built to date. 

3. Keep at least a toe in
Thanks to companies supporting women returning to the workforce sprouting up all the time, I'm happy to say the tides are turning. A career break on a resume is becoming more of an accepted and even overlooked phenomena. That said, companies are still looking to see that you were doing something professional during this break. Whether you're starting your own website or doing freelance writing or volunteering with the PTA—you'll do yourself a solid if there's something that can be added to this timeframe on your resume. More importantly —beyond your resume— doing something professional during this time will move mountains for your confidence and what I call your career mojo (that feeling you have when ideas are flowing and there's momentum on your career path). One of the first things I ask clients to do if they're considering a return to the workforce is to take on a project or some professional work to get their confidence and career mojo back. See my post – To Re-Enter The Workforce in 2017, Do These Three Things. 

4. Your lifetime earning potential will shift
According to Samantha Ettus, author of The Pie Life: A Guilt-Free Recipe for Success and Satisfaction, "18 percent of future earnings disappear if moms leave the workforce for a year, and that increases to 39 percent for two years, according to research…Most couples calculate the lower earner's annual salary compared to the annual cost of child care…The real equation is the lower earner's income from now until retirement, compared to five years of child-care costs." It's important to take a long-term view of the picture rather than a snapshot in time, the moment your child is born. A women's lifetime earning potential has become critically important as women are statistically living longer lives than their partners and are left to manage the household finances, requiring more money to manage their care as they age. As I've said, this does not need to be a deal breaker for you if your decision is to stay home, but it is good for you to know and weigh as a factor in your decision. 

5. Prioritize self-care and confidence
As moms, we're constantly doing for everyone else and making ourselves the last priority. As a result, many of the women I see are overwhelmed, exhausted and depleted. Often for stay at home moms, they can feel guilty for not bringing in an income so they feel like they need to be productive every minute of the day, constantly doing for the family -- which rarely includes care for themselves. As you may have experienced in certain times of your life, when you give up on exercise, mostly clean eating and doing the things that bring you joy or make you feel like you—your confidence can plummet. Taking steps to get support whether it's with friends or professionals, can be a huge part of bolstering your confidence. If you think you may want to return to work at some point, keep up with former colleagues and your network throughout your break. Feeling like you'll need to start from scratch when you return is one of the things that can keep you paralyzed during your search. 

Whatever you choose, it's important that you and your partner are on the same page, checking in with each other from time to time to see if your current arrangement is working for both of you and your family. If you're not open, resentments can and will grow. Know that returning to work after a break is absolutely an option. It simply takes some time, support, thoughtful vetting of the right next role and a belief that you can create your version of having it all. 

If you’ve decided 2017 is your year to jump back into the workforce, but you have no idea where to start, take a breath and know, 1) you’re not alone and 2) career badassery is like muscle memory—it’s in you, you simply need to wake it up. 

Many of my clients have taken time off to care for their children full time or for a sick or elderly parent. This world of potty training, tantrums, special needs testing or lining up round the clock care for mom--feels a galaxy away from the powerful meetings they used to lead with goals and agendas, collaborating with cross-functional teams to launch projects on time and on budget. It can feel that way, but know—these worlds are closer than they appear to be with the naked eye. 

Outside of a resume and a few new skills, what I find are the two most critical things my clients need to re-enter the workforce are CONFIDENCE—the belief that you can get back into a career you enjoy and that you belong there, and CAREER MOJO—that feeling you have when ideas are flowing and there’s momentum on your career path. 

Here are the three things you should do to regain your confidence and career mojo right now! 

1. Take On a Project:
Getting into action around a topic you want to explore is the best way to boost both your confidence and your career mojo all at once! You could help a friend with her business by managing her social media and email marketing. Or you could run an event for your child’s school. As you step into your project, be intentional about the skills you want to learn, take copious notes on systems you’re setting up and ways you can improve your process. Take free and inexpensive online courses while working on your project so that you can put your new skills to the test in a specific and measurable way. Spend time writing ideas for tactics to take your skills to the next level within your project and beyond. Ask your project sponsor for a LinkedIn Recommendation so that you can demonstrate your hard work and innovative thinking during this time where you have a gap in your experience. 

2. Build A Personal Brand And A Social Presence
When you’re job searching, one of the first things hiring managers will do is to take a look at your social presence. Does your LinkedIn match your resume? Are you active on LinkedIn? Do you like, post others’ content or write your own articles? If you’re going to be applying for Digital or Social Marketing positions, add Twitter and potentially Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and Pinterest to the list. My advice here though, is to start with ONE you know and ONE on which you can post regularly before you set yourself up for Social World Domination. Usually when I talk to clients about a social presence, I hear a lot of, “What should I write?” I could (and should) write an entire post about this, but at a high level, you should start with 5-10 themes that make up the person you are. This works best when the themes range from the serious and professional to the mundane and quirky. For example, if you’re looking to join a Wellness Brand a potential list could be: Wellness Startup Profiles, Mind/Body Connection, Work-life balance, Favorite Books and Podcasts, Dogs. Now while you’re not going to write posts every week about dogs, a sprinkling of dog humor and ways that dogs help with wellness can be a way to better define the unique formula for who you are and how you stand out. 

3. Connect With Your Supporters
Remember those people throughout your pre-kids career who advocated for you, mentored you, believed in you and pushed you farther than you pushed yourself? It’s time to put them on a list and start reaching out to them one by one. They won’t all have time to meet with you. Don’t take that personally! That’s why you’re making a list. Move on to the next person and begin setting up phone calls, coffees and lunches. Make it easy for them to help you by being flexible and working around their schedules and their desired venues. In your meetings, be sure to talk about your project, what you’re learning and where you want to go with your next step in your career. Set an intention to ask for one thing in each meeting. These people want to see you succeed. Don’t forget to ask for help in some way! They could connect you with contacts at companies you want to network into, or write a recommendation for you on LinkedIn or just be available for a support email from time to time. 

You may be wondering how your resume didn’t make it to my top 3. Many of my clients think that their out of date resume is what’s holding up their re-boot, but I find that once these other pieces are in play, the resume, the direction and the list of companies to contact falls into place. Now go out and re-claim your confidence and career mojo so you can make 2017 your year! 

You’re back at work. You’re pumping three times a day (or your goal is four, but you fit in three). You’re dozing off in meetings about campaigns that launched while you were out. All you can think about is how many ounces your little one took today and if she finally made the poop that was coming to her. 

When you have some (well deserved) downtime during your workday or on your commute—I highly recommend the following podcasts to bring you the inspiration and energy you thought would come from that fourth cup of coffee (but no such luck).

1. Magic Lessons with Elizabeth Gilbert
ALERT – Stop what you’re doing right now (even if it’s due by COB) and download the first three episodes of Magic Lessons. Liz Gilbert’s mellow and thoughtful tone—even her opening music—had me hooked within minutes. She selects a willing participant each episode and coaches her to tap into her creativity and her lifelong passions; to find ways to release guilt, ignore what others think—and begin. I want to wallpaper my home office with the brilliantly relevant and poignant quotes she selects for each caller. The message that Gilbert is bringing to the surface truly speaks to me as a woman and mother. We spend our days taking care of others and putting our creative energy as one of our lowest priorities. And by doing so, we are missing out on the precious fuel that allows us to come to our caregiving and the rest of our lives as happy, whole selves.

2. The Longest Shortest Time
The Longest Shortest Time is a podcast and blog, hosted by author and This American Life contributor Hillary Frank. Averaging around 25 minutes an episode, it’s the perfect length to listen to during a pumping session. Covering unconventional stories of parenthood and the messy moments some people don’t like to talk about—the podcast will help you stay connected to your role as mom when it seems like your baby is a world away. LST reminds you that you’re not the first and only one to pull off this crazy experiment. And really, laughing at ourselves is the best way to enjoy it. Beyond the podcast, there is an uber active and supportive Facebook group that is a must-join for anyone seeking validation of just how much you're pulling off right now. 

3. First Day Back
If long form content and detailed storytelling is more your thing, jump to the beginning of documentary filmmaker, Tally Abicassis’s story, where she chronicles her return to work after a six year maternity leave. Tally touches on the real fears and mixed emotions of moms who are heading back after a long gap. Interviews with her 3 and 6 year old boys provide fun highlights that take the story in a different direction than you would expect.

4. School of Greatness
Having a baby has shifted your priorities and you may be wondering if the career path you’re on is right for you in the long-term. You may be asking yourself how your job matches up to your values and your unique strengths. Guess what? You’re onto something and the School of Greatness podcast provides an endless connection to accomplished leaders and innovators who can help you take this journey—FOR FREE. Whether you want to hone your leadership skills in your current role, start your own business or simply begin to re-evaluate your life purpose, this podcast will give you the jolt of positive mojo you need to turn off The Real Housewives marathon and get into action.

5. Here’s the Thing with Alec Baldwin
This one has nothing to do with parenthood and everything to do with re-connecting to the person you were before you had kid/s.  If like me, you were obsessed with all things Carrie Bradshaw back in the day, please go straight to the Sarah Jessica Parker episode and drink her in. I may or may not have listened to that one twice.  If you’re not back to your pre-baby reading pace, Here’s the Thing will expose you to writers, directors and actors who are inspiring and most of the time—really freaking funny. If you get a chance to get out to that party your friends want to drag you to, Here’s The Thing will give you something interesting to say beyond explaining why there’s still spit-up on your shoulder.

If you're looking for a little extra support with your return to work, book a complimentary Clarity Call with me to discuss coaching options at rachelbgarrett.com/coaching