Goodbye, January 2022!

I haven’t been this happy to release a month since March of 2020. 

Emotions ran high. PTSD from early pandemic days loomed large. Decisions became impossible to make, to get right and to stand by. 

I drew my energy and my peace from my new daily writing practice (I passed my one month anniversary!), my work helping more women identify and claim their career desires (we just wrapped an exciting 4-week group program), our family Wordle competition (That somehow my 10-year old is winning. I want 10-year old neural pathways!) and of course, you know me…my podcast addiction. 

Here’s a round up of podcast episodes that are giving me the tools and the inspiration to keep moving forward and doing my best despite the big expectations I had for 2022. 

The Happiness Lab: Stepping Off the Path of Anxiety
https://www.happinesslab.fm/2022-new-year-mini-season/stepping-off-the-path-of-anxiety

First of all, I recommend the entire 2022 mini season that dives into the tougher emotions we don’t like to recognize or talk about like anger, anxiety, grief. In this episode, Dr. Laurie Santos talks with Psychotherapist and meditation teacher Andrea Wachter about tools to acknowledge and quiet anxiety. Have a notebook handy for this one. I listened to it twice! 

On Being: Pico Iyer and Elizabeth Gilbert - The Future of Hope 3
https://onbeing.org/programs/pico-iyer-and-elizabeth-gilbert-the-future-of-hope-3/
This is part of a 4-part series of conversations around hope and I’ve enjoyed all of them. Having experienced the loss of her partner, Raya Elias, in 2018 Liz Gilbert connects lessons of surrender she learned from this loss to similar insights during the pandemic. I always find wisdom in Liz’s vulnerable observations and clear words that capture our humanity. 

Dare to Lead: The Great Awkward
https://brenebrown.com/podcast/the-great-awkward/

Brené always knows how to name the things none of us want to say. She and her sister Barrett discuss what “going back to the office” will look like and how inevitably it will be different than it ever was and we should expect it to be awkward AF. 

PS. This was the last episode Brené released before announcing she would hold off on releasing episodes until further notice. While she didn’t say it, this is clearly in response to Spotify continuing to give a platform to Joe Rogan and others who are spreading misinformation. Way to use your expertise and power to make change and stand in your values, Brené! 

CYG: Grief Companionship

https://www.callyourgirlfriend.com/episodes/2021/10/29/grief-companionship

This conversation is from the fall of 2021, but I thought it was so relevant as so many people are grieving both the people they lost in the past two years and also all of the things we’ve missed out on because of this damn pandemic. We have so little language and conversation around grief and this episode provides really practical things you can do for your people who are suffering alone right now. 

Pop Culture Happy Hour: Wordle is a daily dose of delight, despair, and sometimes smugness

https://www.npr.org/2022/01/24/1075352735/wordle-is-a-daily-dose-of-delight-despair-and-sometimes-smugness

For those of you who didn’t think you could create a new daily habit…you were wrong! If you’re like me and you haven’t missed a day since you started playing…I see you. This is some Worldle Nerdery that will make you smile all the way through. 

Enjoy this list and let me know some other favorites of yours that are getting you through! 

Quietly listening and wordling,

Rachel

It’s been one long year. I know I said that (and we all said that) about 2020. And yet, rounding out year two of this pandemic has been overwhelming, disappointing, confusing, exhausting and all 83 of the other emotions and experiences Brené Brown writes about in her latest book, Atlas of the Heart. Damn straight I’m reading that right now--and I highly recommend that you do too to make meaning of this cluster of a year.

And yet still, I feel hopeful. Optimistic. Grateful for so many things in my life and work.

One way I find my way back to hope is to review my year and take an inventory of my moments of pride. Moments I’ve shown up for my people and my work, despite all the obstacles.

Of course, there are moments I could have done better. There always will be. I’m human after all. Yet focusing on these moments sends me spinning, rather than building momentum along my path.

So, here I am. Documenting my top five list of what I did well. And you can do the same as a reminder of all you’re capable of accomplishing...and being.

1. After four years of coordinating care for my Uncle Ray who struggled with Parkinson’s for over 25 years, I helped guide him through his last days listening to his favorite jazz tunes, hearing the words from people who loved him and receiving the best care possible to ease the transition.

2. Even with the experience and memories of my own fraught Bat Mitzvah that was just one year after I lost both my parents in a car accident, I supported, loved and cheered on my daughter through her Bat Mitzvah milestone. It was also complex with covid restrictions--and yet in some ways the intimacy and the sole focus on the ceremony made it even more meaningful.

3. I experimented with and launched new, lower cost ways of working with women to broaden my impact and serve more women whose careers suffered the most during the pandemic. It was out of my comfort zone to talk about what I do and sell my programs at this scale--and yet at the end of it were women getting new opportunities, claiming their worth, making more money and believing in the possibilities that were out there for them.

4. I created a podcast! A dream of mine for the past seven years. Yay!

5. I lived and parented another year in a pandemic, making hundreds of risk assessments every day, setting boundaries and sticking with them even when others didn’t like my lines. I advocated for my lines, worked hard to keep my family safe and jumped to get them vaccinated as early as possible.

I encourage you to make some time for this end end-of-year reflection and I’d love to hear more about your top moments of pride from 2021. Feel free to send me a note about what’s carrying you through the endlessness of this pandemic.

As a Career and Leadership Coach supporting working mothers in up-leveling leadership skills and managing career transitions, the week the Weinstein news hit was traumatic. Then the punches kept coming. Every day there were more sexual harassment, assault and rape cases revealing themselves—and the stories of cover-up infrastructure decades old were as crushing as the incidents themselves.  

Like Uma Thurman, I was angry. Every day I coach incredible women. 

Women who know well what it’s like to be the only woman in the room. 

Women attorneys who have created new areas of the law to protect underserved communities. 

Women who are self-taught technology experts. 

Women who are facing bias, discrimination and worse—that flies in the face of their ambition. 

Women who have all the skills, all the tools, all the expertise—but still don’t see themselves as leaders. 

After weeks of moving through empathy for the victims, reflection on the more than awkward moments in my own career, holding my clients’ challenges in my heart and reading every word on the subject, one Harvard Business Review article was tattooed on my brain—Training Programs and Reporting Systems Won’t End Sexual Harassment. Promoting More Women Will. The article revealed that while training programs and reporting systems are band aid measures, the research does not support their success in solving the problem. 

The only proven approach is in promoting women into the senior ranks. "Male-dominated management teams have been found to tolerate, sanction, or even expect sexualized treatment of workers, which can lead to a culture of complicity…Harassment flourishes in organizations where few women hold the "core" jobs. Fixing this is about finding power in numbers, not just in authority and hierarchy."

There it was. Through tears, I saw my imminent pivot before me. There was only one path forward. One mission. One 2018 Why.

GET MORE WOMEN INTO POSITIONS OF POWER. 

As I move into 2018 business planning and goal setting, all priority projects will fall under this umbrella.

I will begin to phase out programs and projects that no longer speak to this mission, this Why. My focus will be coaching and online programs that ignite women’s leadership skills, strengthening their belief that it IS possible for them to lead and have family lives they love—while drop kicking the idea or myth that women can’t and won’t help women. 

Helping other women will be part of my mission and all of my programs. 

The ONLY way we’re going to make this happen is by helping each other. 

So, in the spirit of helping each other—let’s get to work helping you Create Your 2018 Why. 

First off, what is it? 
Often called a "Why Statement" and popularized by Simon Sinek’s must-read bestseller, It Starts With Why. As Simon so eloquently puts it, "It is one of life’s greatest joys to wake up in the morning…every morning, with a clear sense of why that day matters, why every day matters. This is what it means to find your WHY." 

Your Why should bring you to tears. Now, I’m not saying I want you crying the whole damn day, but—I do want you to be moved by what you’re doing and your reasons for doing it. This emotion will propel you forward, keep you motivated and fill you with pride and gratitude for your contribution to the world. 

Why is it important?
Your Why drives your hunger to succeed and accomplish your goals. It also gets you through the tough parts of the work! When I’m dealing with technology issues or scheduling snafu’s with clients, I think, "Get more women into positions of power." And I redouble my efforts to work through it. 

It also lets people know how to help and partner with you! When you tell people your Why as part of your elevator pitch or simply standing in line at Starbucks (ok, maybe that’s just me!) people will be attracted to the emotion behind your Why and think about ways to be a part of your mission. 

How do I create it?
This will take some ever-illusive quiet time. Yes, it is possible to find this time and you must. I already feel the pressure you’re putting on yourself to find the answers in one sitting, you efficient type-A’s. Let me set expectations by saying, this could take awhile and that’s okay. The reflection is worth your time, no matter what you uncover. 

Ask yourself, the following questions:

1. What do I want?

2. What do I want for the people I love?

3. What do I want for the world?

4. Why do I want these things?

5. What is most important to me?

6. What do I believe with all that I am?

Read through what you have and let it percolate. Now, actively walk through your life with an openness, looking for clues to finding more of these answers. Talk about your evolving answers with people you trust and people who will be open to exploring what this means for you. 

When you come up with it—and it brings you to tears, let your Why be your mantra and experiment with it being your life’s organizing principle. The first year of my business, my Why was simply one word—growth. I had spent 16 years in one career and I felt like I was standing still for a long time. The idea of both personal and business growth lit me up. It helped me figure out what projects to say no to and how I wanted to organize my life. Whatever you come up with, let it be something that draws you to it, something that fires you up. Because you’re here to make shit happen, so let’s do this thing, 2018.